If Only
by 1oooW0rds
Summary: If only fate wasn't so cruel. one-shots collection of Maysilee/Haymitch. Mostly AU. Collection #7: "Can't just kill one Donner, Abernathy?" She greeted, slowly reaching up to pull his knife away from her neck. [If Haymitch mentored Maysilee in the 51st Hunger Games]
1. collection 1

Disclaimer: I do not own _Hunger Games Series. _This is the property of Suzanne Collins.

A/N: Ok, this is a bit out of my comfort zone since I'm a _Lorien Legacies _author but I love the Hunger Games even before the huge hype of the movie and whatnot. Maysilee and Haymitch are my little guilty pleasure couple along with Madge and Gale. These little drabbles are either AU or Canon but mostly AU. I apologize if they seem a bit out of character. Please PM or review if you have any comments or advice.

If Only: collection #1

#1: Tired

"Go to sleep." Haymitch ordered, studying the weary blonde as she walked past him. Maysilee shook her head, clenching her blow pipe tightly in her right hand. He observed her tired form, noting her blue eyes were lacking their usual sharp awareness. The scowl on her face that once looked furious appeared like a mask she couldn't take off. He crossed his arms and frowned as she sluggishly sat down at the base of the tree they were camping at. His District partner hasn't been sleeping for days, barely functioning on a total of five hours of sleep. "You're going to get us killed." He exclaimed relying on his blunt statements to cut into the bone tired girl.

In that instance, Haymitch saw a flicker of the strong girl he knew in District Twelve. Her azure eyes flashed angry as she lifted her chin up, staring up at him. Her scowl held more of a bite he recognized and unwillingly relied on to keep him sane in this hell hole. The Arena hasn't broken her yet. "I'm not tired." She stated. Her voice was hoarse from lack of speaking. Lips cracked from lack of water. He shook his head and slid down beside her. Maysilee opened her mouth for some snappy comment. Any other day, Haymitch would allow it but he cut her off with a steely look.

"Go to sleep." He repeated, tugging her towards him. Maysilee would have resisted but her body was exhausted and his shoulder was comfortable. "I'm not going to kill you. We're allies." Maysilee's eyes blinked slowly, peeking at Haymitch's brooding look and sighed, succumbing to his warmth and words. _But for how long? _She thought before allowing the bliss darkness to overtake her mind.

#2 Back Alley

"You bastard!" Maysilee's eyebrows furrowed at the sharp shriek from behind the school building. A smirk grew on her face as she heard the sound of hand slapping a cheek. "I never want to see you again, Abernathy!" A Seam girl rushed by her, tears streaming down her cheek as she barely noticed the Town girl. She peeked around the corner, schooling her smug expression for one of pure innocence as she spied Haymitch rubbing his raw cheek.

"Lovers' quarrel?" She asked, walking up to him as she blinked her doe-eyes. Seam's more attractive and intolerable bachelor glared at the candy shop princess as he ran his coal dust fingers down his face, searching for cuts the girl's nails could have caused. "Looks like it's going to leave a mark." Haymitch scowled and glared at her as she stepped closer in her clean uniform.

"Well, who made you an expert?" Haymitch muttered, glancing around, wondering why Maysilee Donner was unescorted by her male companions. The smile on her face slipped into a mischievous one as she stepped closer, extracting his right hand off his sore cheek. Haymitch didn't move to stop her as her soft callous-free hand stoked his cheek, tracking a tiny cut. "Donner…" He warned or maybe groaned at her touch.

"What did you do this time, Abernathy?" She whispered, knowing for sure no one could see her behind the building with him, standing too close to a boy she shouldn't be with. His gray eyes meet her gaze and Maysilee closed her eyes as his hands deliberately gripped her tiny waist, pulling her towards him.

"To tell you the truth, I don't remember…" his lips brushed her ear as he whispered into it, sending shivers down her spine. "Nor care." Maysilee turned to reprimand him but his lips brushed hers and she was a goner, allowing Haymitch to pull her behind the building, out of sight.

#3 Sunrise

Haymitch stared at the dirty curtains that lined his dusty windows, grimacing when a sliver of sunlight shined through the grim. _Another day I didn't die. _He thought ruefully as he absentmindedly turned away, reaching blindly into the garbage for the reassuring weight of the bottle of white liquor. He closed his eyes as soon as his fingers clenched the neck of the liquid poison and allowed the terrible nightmare rushed back before he could drown them. This was his punishment.

It wasn't her death that haunted him but rather – _Maysilee covered her mouth as she tried to silent her laughter. Her bright blue eyes were closed shut as she curled away from him or maybe the cameras watching them. Lithe shoulders shook as she buried her beautiful face into her knees. Haymitch smiled at the dirty girl whose laugh made the world just a little brighter. "Haymitch, stop it!" She said, trying to turn her attractive smile into a stoic frown and failing in every possible way. "I haven't laughed that long in a while…" she confessed as she tucked an unruly lock of her blonde hair away and flashed him one bright smile, only for him. _– the happy memories are the ones he wanted to dilute.

#4 Late

When she screamed, he knew it was late but that didn't stop him from rushing to her side, witnessing the candy pink birds fly away after the deed was done. Maysilee Donner laid there with blood flowing from her throat, hands desperately searching for her weapon. Haymitch crouched down, grasping her hands and trying to calm her movement. He gazed into her blue eyes and watched helplessly as her mouth tried to form words without any sounds. He didn't need sounds, already hearing her voice in his head.

_Win… Hay-mitch… _He nodded his head, fighting back the tears as he watched the life slowly fade away from her vibrant eyes. He was always too late.

#5 Son

"Kane is the baker's son." Haymitch grunted at the girl's comment but kept his eyes trained on the path in front of him, the path towards the Seam. Maysilee smiled – not at him because that was forbidden – and followed the boy, not too close that they appeared together but not exact far enough that he couldn't hear her whispers. "He was only helping me with a few sketches for class. He is an amazing artist."

"I don't care." Haymitch growled; kneeling down to tie his laces even though they were doubled knotted. His fingers masterfully unraveled the thick cord, trying to get the image of the broad blond boy - whose arm was casually draped over Maysilee's shoulder, whose mouth nearly touched her ear as he whispered instructions to her – out of his head. He scowled, half frustrated at the town girl for stirring these emotions in him and half at himself for having emotions. Maysilee continued walking by, barely glancing at him because they're not together. "I _really _don't care."

Maysilee took a chance as she turned away, looking at him. His words sound like he was trying to convince himself rather than her. But her sharp eyes noticed how his hands clenched the laces like he was strangling a certain baker's neck. She leaned down, tucking a stray piece of her golden hair behind her ear and smiled down at the boy as he looked up at her. "I know because you know I love you."


	2. collection 2

Disclaimer: I do not own _Hunger Games Series. _This is the property of Suzanne Collins.

A/N: Oh gosh, this one was a hard one to write but it is done! I'm not exactly happy with a few especially Friend and Cheat. Those were racking my brain and beating the crap out of me. I would love to thank **Seph Meadowes **for being an amazing friend who would chat with me even though she should be sleeping. Check out her stuff, it's amazing! And remember to read and review!

If Only: Collection #2

#6 Hot

Today was unbearable hot in District 12. Haymitch could feel the sweat gather at the collar of his scratchy t-shirt. Luke, his brilliance and idiotic best friend, had dragged him to the town square with the intent to cool off at the fountain. Though, Haymitch should have realized his friend had a different agenda all together. Because right now, Haymitch was nowhere near cool.

"Quit scowling." Luke ordered as he dipped his hand into the fountain like the other Seam boys. Haymitch barely heard his friend's voice as his eyes were fixed on the candy shop where the twins were cleaning the windows. Marigold, the meeker one, clenched the broom handle tightly as she chatted with the Mayor's son, Markus. She wore a long loose dress that looked uncomfortable and cool at the same time. Her blond hair hung loose around her face as she smiled and twirled her finger around her hair in an attempt to flirt. She wasn't the cause of Haymitch's discomfort. Her sister on the other hand…

Maysilee stood there, wiping the huge front window with a cloth. Her white t-shirt was long which explained why it was tied up, revealing her midriff and lower back. That was only half of it though. Every single time Maysilee would bend down to rewet her cloth, the dangerously short length of her jean shorts would pull up, revealing another inch of smooth creamy skin. Haymitch tried to turn away from the alluring sight the girl unknowingly created but his eyes would turn right back against his will. _Damn you, girl. _He thought as another Seam boy almost tripped at the sight of her.

"Glad you came?" Luke asked as he nudged Haymitch's arm. Haymitch turned, ready to yell at his friend but Maysilee tilted her head, causing her high blonde ponytail to sway. Her azure eyes looked at him, not the town boys who stood beside Marcus looking at her with their blue eyes, not the boys who had enough money to treat her like a princess. Maysilee's eyes singled him out, the boy with only rough words and mildly attractive face. Haymitch leaned back, tucking his hand into his shorts and smirked at her, waiting for her revealing blush to spread across her cheek. Instead, she licked her lips and reached down to pour her pail of dirty water out and sauntered away.

_She's doing this on purpose. _Haymitch's mind supplied him as he stood up, ignoring Luke's comment and followed the cunning candy girl.

#7 Friend

"We're not friends." He growled into her ear before giving her a hot kiss, branding himself onto the forbidden girl. Maysilee leaned into the kiss, taking the bruise lips, insistent tugging and possessive scratches in stride. "We're not that simple." He whispered, leaning back a fraction. She could feel his breath against her lips, his burning hands on her sides and his solid frame pressing her.

"Friends don't kiss friends." She whispered back as his hands dug into her hips. Something was wrong… Maysilee's eyes flashed open and she stared into the darkness, searching for warm gray eyes. Instead, dark eyes void of any emotion stared back. The dagger tip brushed against her stomach, threatening to gut her open. His kissable lips curled into a murderous smirk. "Haymitch?"

"No hard feelings, sweetheart." He said before plunging the dagger into her unprotected belly.

Maysilee Donner shoved her fist into her mouth to silence the scream. Her eyes searched the darkness for her crimson blood to stain the ground. She gasped for breath and stared at the crackling fire in front of her, groping her stomach for the wound. _It was just a dream. _She reasoned, slowly pushing herself up and look for the second star of her dream.

A wood above her creaked and she glanced up, spying a leg hanging from the tree limp. Another second and a face from her dream appeared looking down at her with a questioning look. "What's go you all worked up, Donner? You're sweating." He asked, swinging himself down with a cat-like grace.

_You got me worked up, _she thought in her head, hating how aroused and paranoid she was after a dream. "I'm taking the watch now. There's no way I can go back to sleep." Haymitch gave her a concern look – _please don't look at me like that, like you care _– and shrugged his shoulders before closing his eyes. Maysilee stared at his frame and flinched at the dagger clenched tightly in his hands.

#8 Floor:

"You loosen that tie once more and I'm going to snap your fingers." Haymitch was tempted to challenge the stylist's threat but the gleam in her multi-colored eyes stopped him. Grumbling, Haymitch tucked his hands into the soft pockets of his suit. The woman visible brightened up and moved to help the second male tribute of District 12. Everything felt wrong on Haymitch. The suit was too soft made out of the finest fabric he has seen in his life. The black charcoal shade mimics the appearance of coal almost too close. He wore a white button-up underneath the suit with a skinny solid black tie. Haymitch's tangled hair was cut and styled so it fell right over his steel gray eyes. He didn't feel like himself. Everything was too Town-like.

"My, my, don't you clean up nice?" Haymitch slowly turned his head towards the voice, watching as the male stylist appeared with both Maysilee and Amber behind him. He winked flirtatiously at Haymitch who's eyes widen at the sight of Maysilee, barely noticed the man's advances.

Unlike the Seam kids who appeared out of place in the flitter and glamour of the Capitol, Maysilee seemed to fit in flawlessly. Her dress was midnight black with tiny sequins at the end that shimmered when she moved, mimicking the starlight skies in District 12. The dress hugged her subtle curves just right, hinting enough to draw male sponsors in but keeping a classy aura. Maysilee wasn't a cheap girl anyone could buy with a few coins. Her golden spun hair was half clipped up, drawing attention to her slender neck and slopes of her exposed shoulders. A few teasing strands tickled her pale cheek, accenting her rosy complexion and sapphire eyes. She was breathtaking, a diamond in the rough.

"Hector, I am impressed. They look stunning." The female stylist commented as she skipped over to Maysilee and adjusted the bodice of her dress. "Especially this one. Sponsors are going to be gawking over her." She stepped away, revealing the Maysilee's pin which was dangled on a simple golden chair. "Now, how's my handiwork?"

As the stylists twitted between themselves, Maysilee carefully descended the stairs. A shy smile blossomed on her face as Haymitch blinked, regaining his senses. He smirked back as she approached, few feet away from him before tripping. Instinctively, he moved, catching her as she pressed her face into his chest, inhaling her sugary sweet scent. "Damn shoes…" She cursed, looking down at the footwear.

"Already falling for me, Donner?" He whispered into her ear, ignoring how her soft curves felt so nice against his hard planes. She peeked up and wiggled her nose at him, reverting back into the sixteen year old he knew back home. Haymitch smiled, unable to keep his eyes off her.

#9 Cheat

She was flirting with death when she survived the blood bath. Maysilee knew she was supposed to be one of the twenty cannons that sounded that day. But she wasn't. Instead, she was crouch in the shadows, stalking the careers. She knew, in her heart or soul, that when her name was pulled out of the glass ball, her days were numbered. She was going to die in this beautiful godforsaken Arena but not without a damn fight.

Haymitch knew he has screwed himself over when he agreed to the golden girl's offer. Allies. What a simple word that can cause a mess of problems in the future. But, he won't admit it she kept him sane. Her sapphire eyes silently encouraged him to move forward. Her steady steps behind him kept his head clear and focused. She did something to him, something Haymitch would hate to admit. She grounded him.

Fate officially hated Maysilee Donner. She decided that when Haymitch nodded his head and turned around, walking with a destination clear in his head and she foolishly followed. Allies. What a stupid brilliant idea. But Fate hated Maysilee and she couldn't just die a horrible death in the Arena like the other 47 kids here. No, she had to fall in love too.

He was playing a dangerous game here. Haymitch acknowledged that when he looked across the flames at the pretty blonde, trying to control the skip in his heart when she smiles at him. Their pact can't last much longer. There were six kids alive in this hell hole. Five lives he had to outlive to get out of here and return home. _A home where she won't be. _Haymitch grimaced and turned away, cursing the voice in his head and its damn logic.

They were cheating in the Hunger Games. In the mist of the despair and gore, one girl fell in love with one boy. And he fell for her. But the Capitol always wins and no amount of cheating would change it.

#10 Think

He wasn't drunk as the girl slipped her fingers expertly underneath his tuck shirt, dragging her fingers across his lower abdomen in a very suggestive manner. Her lips pressed firmly against his, backing him away from the celebration into a dark corner. _Everything is wrong, _Haymitch's mind thought as the girl tried to coax his lips to move against hers, sliding her tongue in between.

The girl in his arms hair wasn't the right color. Her eyes, if he seen them, weren't the right shade. Her skin wasn't as soft as he remembered. "Stop thinking…" she hissed, digging her nails into his forearms, trying to drag his mind away from whatever thoughts. It didn't work though because all he could think about was how her voice – sexy and demanding – wasn't the right.

Haymitch pulled back, opened his eyes as she moved her insistent lips towards his exposed neck. He bit back in instinctive moan and stared at her flaws. Her hair was straight and midnight black. Her eyes as she opened them and gave him a sultry gaze were stormy gray. Her fingers were rough with callous from working at home washing clothes for a living. Haymitch's hands dug into her thin wiry frame which lacked curves from frequent meals.

"This isn't right…" Haymitch whispered as she toyed with his belt buckle. His eyes fluttered closed and he cursed his raging hormones. He couldn't be with this girl. She wasn't the pale, blue eyed beauty he wanted. Like she somehow read his thoughts, her eyes narrowed and she pulled him into another desperate kiss, sending his mind back into a different place and time.

"_God damn it, Haymitch!" Maysilee screamed as she smack the dark berries out of his hands. "Are you even thinking?" Haymitch sat there against the tree trunk, staring longingly at the scattered berries on the forest floor. Her azure eyes flashed dangerously at him as she gestured to the berries. Her voice, high pitched and frantic, echoed through the forest like a siren, revealing their position to anyone who was listening. But by her annoyed body language, she could careless right now. "Those are freaking nightlocks!"_

_He looked up as she hugged herself, trembling despite the warm air. She looked like a wreck with dark bags underneath her eyes, hair twisted into a messy ponytail and a frown marring her pretty face. "May…" In a flash, the trouble expression shifted into a ferocious one. She moved quickly, grabbing his collar and straddling him, forgetting the cameras and the whole nation watching them. Her soft body with subtle dips and curves a healthy teenage girl should possess pressed against his unnaturally thin but solid frame. Her face was pressed against his neck, forcing Haymitch to inhale her scent of sugar and vanilla that clung to her ever since they left District 12. Her golden hair tickled his nose as he closed his eyes, allowing his tense body to relax for once._

"_You can't die, Haymitch." She whispered for only him to hear. "You can't die just yet. Only by my hands." She looked up at him; blue eyes met his gray ones, forcing him to see the promise. "I am the only one who's allowed to kill you." Haymitch opened his mouth to argue but she leaned forward, sealing his words with a searing kiss. "Let's go." She ordered, grabbing her blow gun and jogging off. Numbly, Haymitch nodded his head and jogged after her._

"She's gone…" Haymitch turned away to hide his hurt expression as the Seam girl in front of him backed off. "She's not here anymore." The girl's footsteps disappeared as Haymitch clenched his eyes, praying Maysilee would appear in his dreams and keep her promise of sweet death. _Because life with you is unbearable._


	3. collection 3

Disclaimer: I do not own _Hunger Games Series. _This is the property of Suzanne Collins.

If Only: Collection #3

#11 Disgust

"You shouldn't be doing this." Haymitch gave the ghost a sarcastic smile as he lifted the bottle, toasting to the girl before graciously sipping the white liquid. The translucent form of Maysilee Donner cringed like the alcohol was burning her throat instead and glared ferociously at Haymitch's relaxed form. "These kids need you." She said, furiously pushing her blonde curls out of her pale face. "Stop drinking, Haymitch."

"No." He replied wiping his lips with his sleeve and allowing his head to lull back against the armchair of his over decorated room. The lights of the Capitol winked outside, mimicking the stars they naturally drowned out with their brightness. But in the state that Haymitch was in, he couldn't tell the difference between the two. "Why do you care? You're dead."

He expected the girl to cringed and shy away because of the curt comment like she did in reality, ages ago at his other blunt statements. But instead, the girl frozen at sixteen huffed, crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, giving him a biting scowl. "Why do you do this to yourself, Haymitch? It's not helping anyone." She whispered, her words laced with worry.

"They remind me of you." He confessed, feeling lightheaded thanks to the alcohol finally affecting his mind. The transparent form of Maysilee filled in like she was actually in the room, in front of him, frowning at his unprofessional behavior. An uncharacteristic smile tugged at his lips as the scowl left her face replaced by an adorable confused expression, his favorite face of hers. "The girl has your pin, the golden one with the little birdie on it. I guess your niece liked her enough and hope it helps. More like pin a target on her back." Maysilee crept closer, sitting on the edge of his armchair. "The boy's a Townie."

"That explains everything." Haymitch smiled, enjoying her clip tone.

"He looks like you. Soft. Warm." Haymitch listed, unconsciously reaching out to touch the memory. Maysilee stiffened and he stopped, staring longingly at the girl's pale features, golden blonde hair and deep blue eyes. "He acts like you too. Charming. Likeable. Manipulated." Maysilee smiled and reached out, lightly brushing his hair back. He could feel her warmth or something similar to it. "The girl's a spit fire, another one of your wonderful traits. She's gonna cause trouble. They're both going to cause trouble."

"We caused trouble too, Haymitch." She reminded, looking into his bloodshot eyes. "It's a District 12 thing. Please, stop drinking." He reached out and gently grazed her hand, his mind tricking him that's she's really beside him and not dead.

"If I stop," he slurred, feeling exhaustion finally leaking into his weary bones. "I won't see you."

"It might be a good thing. You won't hear my nagging voice any longer."

"No. Not a good thing…" He whispered, drifting off and allowing sleep to consume him.

#12 Shelter

"Fuck you rain!" Maysilee screamed at the sky, stomping her feet against the coal dust covered ground in frustration. Holding her leather bag over her head in vain, she tried to fend off the sudden spring shower and ran towards the nearest tree. "God damn it…" she muttered, staring at her uniform. The navy skirt looked almost black as it clung to her bare legs. The required white shirt was thoroughly drenched, revealing her under camisole and healthy figure. "Shit…"

"Wow, what a dirty mouth you have, Donner." Jumping from her spot, Maysilee glanced around searching for the handsome owner of the voice. Finally looking up, seventeen year old Haymitch swung down from the branch he was napping on. A rakish smirk appeared on his mouth as he noticed her soaked appearance. "Love what you did with the outfit. A big improvement."

"Fuck you, Abernathy." She replied, using her bag to cover herself.

"Maybe later, sweetheart." He retorted, leaning against the solid bark of the tree. "Now, here I was taking a relaxing nap and the last thing I expected with a prissy Townie cussing up a storm. Literally." Maysilee rolled her eyes and settled down on one of the only dry spots. Underneath the safety of the tree, there wasn't much room. Maysilee was almost touching the heavy fabric of Haymitch's pants. The top few buttons of his shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his slender neck and earthy skin. "Isn't it a little late for Townies to be wandering around?"

"I had a meeting with Mrs. Dodge." Maysilee answered, tugging her loose ponytail out and squeezing the excess water out. "She said I could skip a year."

"Overachiever."

"It's not like it's difficult in this hell-hole." Maysilee whispered before covering her mouth. Haymitch grinned, flashing his pearly whites.

"My, that's just conspiracy talk, little missy." Maysilee sighed and stared up at the sky, praying the downpour would stop so she didn't have to deal with him. For some reason, Haymitch always rubbed her wrong, more than most Seam kids. Maybe it's because of his apparent disregards of the rules and all authorities. Maybe it's because he made her seem cheap, fake, and unimportant.

"Yeah well, spending another year here will rot my brains." Maysilee said, feeling the words just leave her mouth, not caring if he listened to her or not. "The mayor been scouting students who have potential to success outside Twelve and Mrs. Dodge said I was at the top of the list. I might get a cushy job in the Capit- whoa…"Haymitch grabbed her arm, blunt nails digging into her forearm. "What the hell, Haymitch?!"

"Please tell me you're not actually considering it." His dark gray eyes bore into her light blue ones. If she didn't know Haymitch so well, Maysilee would have mistaken his stare as one of concern. "Maysilee…"

"I'll have to be a real piece of work if I was going to work for those scum bags after all they've done to us." Maysilee replied, trying to smile and reassure Haymitch. His grip loosened and he turned away, running his fingers though the mess of his dark hair. "Thanks for caring though." She whispered, messing with the hem of her skirt.

"No problem."

#13 Borrow

"Really Donner, I don't think death by quicksand is very sexy." The blonde glared at him as she wiped the sand out of her face and untying her single braid. "Though, it's not really a beauty contest in here."

"Haymitch, can you shut up for five seconds?" She bit back, shrugging off the light jacket they were forced to wear. Piles of wet sand fell out of the sleeves as she shook the fabric. Haymitch sat on the side, smiling as the girl growled in frustration. "I am not going to die with sand in my pants." She muttered plunging her jacket into the icy cool river they were camping by.

"It would make quite an uncomfortable death." Haymitch commented as he watched her squat by the river, furiously washing her jacket. "But that would involve taking off your pants and flashing the Capitol."Maysilee was ignoring him. It was obvious as she spread the jacket off and contemplated her next movie. _There's always the sleeping bag but I wouldn't be able to run if we were ambushed. _She thought as she ran her fingers through her slowly drying hair, flicking random clumps of sand out. "Donner, all you have to do is ask." Maysilee was going to shout back at him for being an idiot but a dry shirt landed on her head silenced her.

"Wha?"

"And all the Capitol girls are screaming right now." Maysilee turned around to see Haymitch shirtless and in low rise pants. "You like?" Maysilee didn't say anything at first, kinda shock to see Haymitch standing there. His skin was tan and smooth despite the knife fights they've been in. He wasn't buff like a few Town guys but he had decent defined muscles. It was a nice male body.

"You're too skinny." Maysilee muttered instead as she slipped the shirt over her head. Haymitch rolled his eyes, biting back the remark of lack of food and money, and paused as Maysilee shimmered out of her cargo pants. Slowly, she revealed inches of milky white flawless skin of her mile long legs. She pulled her arms in and pulled out her own green shirt. "You can pick your jaw up any time you want, Abernathy."

Haymitch smirked, sitting down and playing with his knife as he scanned the area. "You know, this time tonight you're going to be the star of every boy's wet dream."

"And you're an ass."

"And you're wearing my shirt."

Maysilee closed her eyes and swallowed her pride. "Thank you, by the way."

"Totally worth it."

#14 Chair

"This seat is taken."

"Really?" Haymitch sighed as the girl continued straddling him, fiddling with his tie, flipping her hair and giggling like a brainless twit. He looked pass the wasted town girl and observed the other teens, slowly losing their inhibitions. Luke had dragged him and a few Seam kids to a Town party. It was the end of the year. The Hunger Games were over. They had the whole summer to be miserable but right now, they were going to get drunk, make mistakes and have fun. The girl leaned down, her breath reeking of cheap alcohol and whispered in a faux sultry voice. "I don't think you'll mind sharing."

Haymitch leaned forward. "And I would be so sorry to disappoint." He whispered in a husky voice before sliding her off his lap and sipping his first beer. Huffing, the girl stumbled off, looking for some other sucker to drag into a closet. Sighing, Haymitch ran his fingers through his hair and grabbed a bowl of random finger food the Town hostess left. "Thank you, townie."

"You're welcome." Haymitch looked up to see a pretty blonde standing in front of him. Unlike a majority of the teens here, she wasn't drunk off happiness and booze. Her blonde hair was knotted into a side ponytail, a look he never seen. She wore a pair of jean shorts and a red flannel button-up shirt. "Gonna scoot over, Abernathy?" Haymitch almost didn't recognize her until she opened her mouth.

"Hello, Donner." He replied, spreading his arms across the chair and taking up more than half of it. "I don't know. I'm pretty damn comfort here." Rolling her eyes, she lightly kicked his leg before sitting down. "You have to be pretty sad sit by me." Maysilee sat with her back against the arm of the chair, tucking her bare feet against Haymitch's leg. "And cuddling too."

"Look Abernathy, I just need a little help." Maysilee whispered, Haymitch could barely hear her over the music from the old stereo. He leaned in, draping his arm over the back. "You see the butcher's son." It was difficult to missed Duff with his huge arms and larger-than-a-bear stature. "He was getting a little handsy after a few drinks and you seemed to be the only guy he's intimidated by."She smiled at him like she figured everything out and he was just going to play along.

"And what makes you think I'm gonna be your body guard?" She smiled a confident smile, sat up on her knees and leaned close, lips brushing his ear. Haymitch unconsciously closed his eyes, focusing on her soft body against his side. Unlike the girl before, Maysilee commanded his whole attention. "Are you trying to seduce me, Ms. Donner?" He whispered, tilting his head back to look into her dark eyes.

"Shh… you're sexier when you don't talk." Maysilee said, placing her finger against his lips and leaned forward. For the rest of the night, neither spoke a single word.

#15 Alter(native)

"Haymitch…" Marigold Donner said as she looked up from the front counter at the chime of the door bell. The fiftieth victor of the Hunger Games stood there with glassy gray eyes. His tall stature towered over her as he stepped forward. Unconsciously, Marigold backed away, hitting the counter with a light thump. Haymitch didn't stop though as he placed his hands on either side of her body, caging her in. His whole body reeked of alcohol and despair as he leaned down, lips almost touching hers. "I'm not May." She whispered firmly, pushing her hands against his chest. "I can never be Maysilee."

Like that, whatever nightmare Haymitch was trapped in dispersed. His eyes sharpened and he stepped away, turning away like her appearance disgusted him. "I know." He growled, leaning against the wall and running his fingers through his messy hair. "I miss her. God… I miss her so much, Mar." He looked at her with heartbreaking eyes. Marigold wanted to do anything to get rid of the pain in his eyes but she knew she couldn't. There was only one girl who would and she was dead.


	4. collection 4

A/N: Hey guys. So instead of doing homework and studying for my many exams, I decided to write a special collection for If Only. This is a huge AU where Maysilee wasn't sent into the Arena but her sister was instead. This is Haymitch handling the aftermath of his victory and his 'relationship' with Maysilee, his girlfriend Sophia and even his best friend Luke. This is actually going to be ten prompt long and I decided to release the first three. Remember to review!

If Only: Collection #4

#16. Peace

"Haymitch over here! Look this way." Bright lights flashed in front of Haymitch's face as he plastered on his signature smirk with a tad bit of surliness. His brother, Oliver, flinched at the bright lights, curling away from the photographers and camera crew. His mother's hand dug into Haymitch's shoulder, creating tiny imprints in his shoulder. His mother was an actress as she continued smiling, hiding her internal fears. Behind the lights, Haymitch could see a hint of Sophia's lanky form as she leaned against the wall. "One more, Haymitch." He turned his head just so, catching Sophia's teasing smile as the strobe light flashed, blinding him.

As the spots cleared, Haymitch smiled towards the dark haired girl before his mouth parted at the sight of the blonde girl in the background. She wore a plaid skirt with a white short-sleeve blouse. Her golden hair fell in wisps, tickling her pale cheeks. Her eyes, a deep shade of azure blue, glared at him with such an intense expression. _I know the exact shade, how? _He wondered as his mother stepped away, allowing shots of him and Oliver. The girl fiddled with a long gold chain that fell over her chest, running her fingers over the metal. Haymitch rattled his brain for her name as a blond hair man walked over, placing a soothing hand on her shoulder.

"Marigold," he realized, causing just about every Capitol news hound to jump at the name of the deceased. Oliver spun around to look at his brother's face. His mother stiffened on the sideline. Sophia frowned as she straightened up, sending him a worried glance. The hounds swarmed him with their mics and recorders.

"Haymitch, did you just say your district partner's name?" One said, shoving her mic into his face. Haymitch ignored the question, keeping his eyes focused on Marigold's double. She glared sharply at him before shoving her friend's hand off her shoulder and disappeared into crowd. She moves swiftly despite the masses but Haymitch kept his eyes on her lithe form.

"Haymitch, what was she to you?!"

"Abernathy, over here!"

"You're Marigold's sister, right?" Maysilee's lips curled into an unattractive scowl as she glared into the woman's cat-like eyes. The Capitol reporter stood in front of her with a prim-pressed suit with a tape recorder into her face. The woman's orange hair fell in corkscrews around her ears. Her suit was an ugly yellow that clashed with her hair terribly. Beside her stood a buff man in a powder blue suit with a camera in his hand, snapping photos of Maysilee without her consent. She turned away slightly, giving them a shot of her profile. "You're a splitting image of her."

"Yeah? That's kind of the definition of identical twins." Maysilee quipped back, staring down the lens of the camera with a hard glare. The man didn't back down, rapidly clicking the button, loving every second. "Are you bothering me because you can't get close to Abernathy? A little pathetic, preying on the deceased's sister for your fifteen minutes of fame?" The woman's lips curled up like she struck a gold mine in Maysilee's hostile attitude.

"My, you two are nothing alike." Maysilee scowled and bit back her immediate response. _Sorry, Marigold sucked all the sunshine and rainbows while in the womb._ She smiled slightly and crossed her arms. "But I see her in you when you smile like that." Instantly, the smile fell. "I thought it would be a good idea to have a different angle. We rarely hear from the… _unfortunate _ones' families." _You mean the losers, _Maysilee corrected as she sucked her teeth. "How do you feel about Haymitch Abernathy?"

_He's a cunning Seam boy who can goad his way out of anything, even the freaking Hunger Games, _Instead of voicing her thoughts, Maysilee smiled coolly. "If my sister couldn't return home herself, the second best thing is for a District 12 resident to return home. I'm happy." She answered diplomatically. The woman frowned, pressing her fat lips together in disdain. "Now if you'll excuse me," Maysilee said, side-stepping the Capitol duo and headed towards the gate to exit the Mayor's Manor.

"Do you resent him?" The woman called out as Maysilee walked away. "She could have won. Top Seven is very impressive. But don't you think her death could have been avoided?" She froze at the statement, the memory of that night flashed before her mind. "One of them had to die in that instance. The hybrid creature was going to disembodied one of them. Have you wondered why Maysilee? Was she really that unlucky to trip at that exact moment?" Maysilee could feel the woman's icy cold breath against her cheek. "Or did he push her?" Maysilee sucked in a deep breath, shutting her eyes and forcing the images away. "How do you really feel about Haymitch Abernathy, the 50th victor, your sister's murderer?"

"Get away from her!" A deep voice shouted. The Capitol reporter twisted as Markus Undersee pushed his way towards them. Maysilee took that moment to run, shoving her way towards the masses in the house rather than away. The images of Marigold's death slowly replayed in her mind. "Maysilee!"

_They were both running, two teenagers dressed in dark brown cargo pants and tight green t-shirts. Maysilee was squeezed between Kane and Markus, their eyes glued to the screen. Her hands were gripping both boys' hand, squeezing their hands until hers turned white. Haymitch was a few steps ahead of Marigold, clenching his knife in his right hand, reaching out with his left. "Come on, Mar." Maysilee murmured as her younger sister pumped her limps. The monstrous cry echoed from the television pathetic speakers. "Come on…"_

_Their fingers were almost touching, inches away. Marigold stretched out and he almost wrapped his fingers around hers until – "MARIGOLD!" Haymitch's cries rippled through as Marigold fell. Maysilee could feel Kane tugging her into his chest to shield her from the gruesome sight but she kept her eyes focus in the screen as her sister disappeared from view, as the Capitol monster pounced and mauled her. Marigold Donner was gone._

"Oomph," Maysilee gasped as she ran into a wall of solid muscle and mass. She almost fell if it wasn't for a steady grip around her waist. "Sorry," she muttered instantly before looking up into the stormy gray eyes of the 50th victor of the Hunger Games.

"Mari-" Haymitch muttered.

"Maysilee." She corrected instantly, ignoring the flashing lights of the camera as the Capitol hounds found their next big scoop. _On the bright side, that bitch won't get her big story. _Maysilee thought as she stepped away.

"I know." He replied in a bristled tone, stepping away and tucking one hand into his suit jacket. Maysilee turned away, glancing around, realizing she ruined photo op between Haymitch and his girlfriend, Sophia. Sophia gave her an odd look as the cameras clicked. _Oh I can see the headlines now. _Maysilee thought as she ran her fingers through her hair. _Marigold's deranged twin ruins 50__th__ victor photo-op with his beloved. _

"I'll get out of your shot." She replied lamely, stepping out of Haymitch's warm hold. His hand shot out, tightening his grip on her wrist.

"Wait," Haymitch whispered, pulling the thing he's been toying with out. "She would want you to have this." He tilted the object to the light, unconsciously showing the Capitol crew. The flashes started firing faster. Maysilee's eyes grew as he held out Marigold's pin, _her _pin. The light danced across the Mockingjay making seem almost alive. He moved slowly, reaching for her necklace and clasped the pin into its rightful spot. "Pretty…" he murmured, still holding the pendant and locking his gaze with hers. It felt like the world just faded away as Maysilee returned his sorrowful eyes. And that photo dominated the Capitol's gossip magazines for weeks.

#17. Breach

"This is a very flattering photo." Haymitch jumped when Luke dropped a pile of mail onto his Capitol-issued coffee table. He moved his legs off as Luke sat down in the armchair beside him, sucking on a lollipop and flipping through a Capitol gossip magazine. His dark hair was tied back and he was wearing a few of Haymitch's new clothes. "Maysilee almost looks happy."

"Why are you eating a lollipop?" Haymitch asked as he flicked his knife open, avoiding look at the sharp edge, before sliding it through the tape. "And quit looking through that mag!" Haymitch ordered, batting the magazine out of his best friend's hands. Luke rolled his Seam eyes and settled in the chair, playing with his white stick of the lollipop. The cover was a good shot of the night of the welcome back party. Haymitch actually looked caring as he held Marigold's pendant and gazed into Maysilee's eyes. She was blushing in the photo, bringing a rosy tinge to her pale skin. Haymitch scowled at the photo before shoving it away.

"What's wrong? It shows your softer side." Luke said as he picked through the package Haymitch's stylist sent. "Maysilee gave it to me." Haymitch looked up as Luke smacked his lips. "The lollipop, not the mag. Mmm, strawberry." Luke reached into the box, pulling out a tailored dress shirt with a suit jacket and jeans. "Fancy, why do you need new clothes?"

"It's the first parcel day." Haymitch replied, picking the package up and heading towards his room. Luke followed wordlessly, grabbing the magazine at the same time. "A little privacy?" Haymitch asked which Luke ignored and sank into the overly stuffed bed. "The Capitol crew will be here to film the first one. I have to look presentable. What a concept. When are you friends with Maysilee?" Luke tilted his head as Haymitch unbuttoned his shirt and slipped on his crisp white shirt.

"Why do you care?" Luke asked as he opened the magazine, flipping through the photos. "Maysilee's been helping out at the apothecary, giving out sweets to the Seam kids. I was visiting with Orion before popping over and bothering you." Haymitch finished buttoning up his cuffs and shot his friend an odd look. "It's her way of coping. She's good at it. She's gonna be at the parcel day event, volunteering. The Capitol crowds love her and Juliet latched one. Listen to this. _Maysilee Donner, the grieving sister of the recently deceased Marigold, sacrifices her precious time to help the poor community of District 12. She is truly an angel. _Wow, she has more fans than you. Jealous?" Luke asked smirking at Haymitch which he ignored as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Juliet made her work at the parcel tent."

"And how did Juliet do that?" Haymitch asked as he led them out of his extravagant house. Juliet was Haymitch's escort and now publicity manager. She was ruthless in a tiny package and a purple power suit. Haymitch sighed and stared up at the sky. It was one of the wetter days in District 12. The light drizzle created a gloom over the District despite the happy occasion. Haymitch popped his collar as Luke shoved a hat on. "Is that my hat?"

"Yep, and it looks so much better on me than you." Luke replied smartly as their shoes hit the cobblestones of the market. A tent was already set up with piles of crates tucked near the Justice Building. Seams families were already lined up, despite the steadily growing drizzle. A few Capitol camera crews stood around, mingling around waiting for his grand entrance. Haymitch paused just before he entered the limelight. "Juliet is like every Capitol scum." Luke described, tucking his hands into his jeans. "She guilt-trip Maysilee into it. Saying Marigold would want her to do this." Haymitch flinched at the name. "Oops, sorry."

"It's fine." He replied, looking and seeing Maysilee in the crowd, flashing false smiles at the crew as she handed a few crates to some eager Seam boys. She wore a pair of jeans and a tight t-shirt, showing off her figure. "It's like she's here though, through Maysilee." Luke turned and the two boys continued watching as the girl moved with ease through the crowd.

"That's not Marigold. Maysilee has softened up in the last month but she's still a hard ass." Luke said, smiling slight as he waved to said girl. Maysilee's eyes narrowed suspiciously like she heard but a cry from another person drew her attention away. "You always liked your girls a little rough around the edges." Haymitch narrowed his eyes and smacked Luke's arm. "What?"

"I'm still with Sophia."

"I know and you haven't noticed her once ever since we arrived." Haymitch turned to his friend who nodded towards the line. Sophia stood there with a few of her Seam friends, huddling together for warmth. Sophia waved at him, smiling shyly. He didn't even notice her standing only a few feet away from him. "But with Maysilee, you track her with your eyes, like you're afraid she would disappear. She's not Marigold, Haymitch. You have to accept that Marigold isn't here any longer. She's dead."

"I know." Haymitch answered firmly, trying to focus on Sophia but Maysilee appeared in front of the two boys. "Donner." He greeted stiffly, avoiding looking at Maysilee's necklace. Her hair was tied up with a few strands falling into her eyes. She looked good, alive.

"Abernathy." She greeted coldly before smiling at Luke. "Hi, Luke. Now if you two ladies are done chatting, can you help me with the heavier crates?" To prove Luke's point wrong, Haymitch stepped closer to Maysilee, invading her personal space. Maysilee barely flinched, tilting her head. "Do you understand English, Haymitch?

"A pretty please would be nice, May-si-lee." He added, accenting each syllables, ignoring the little flecks of green in her blue eyes and how her nose scrunched up when things don't go her way. _I will not falling for Maysilee. _Haymitch ordered keeping his hands tucked in his pocket. Maysilee moved in closer, breath caressing his cheek. He would practically feel the gaze of the cameras as their shutters clicked rapidly but at that moment, all he could think about was the girl in front of him.

"Pretty please with sugar on top." She murmured.

#18. True

"Tell me the truth." A soft voice ordered as a pair of warm arms wrapped around Haymitch's waist, dragging his thoughts away from the blonde sitting in the distant. He turned to stare into a pair of deep gray eyes, a button nose and a slight frown. "What is Maysilee to you?" Haymitch tilted his head, faking confusion as Sophia rested her head on his shoulder. "You always avoid her but you keep tabs on her. Whenever you two do talk, you attack her and she attacks right back. You act like your old self around her." Haymitch returned her hug, trying to chase away her unsecure thoughts. But his eyes still lingered on the Donner girl from across the canteen as she laughed, gently shoving the baker's son's arm off her shoulder and latching her arms around the apothecary's daughter.

It was one of those days where Haymitch couldn't stand sitting in his house as the silence consumed him. He would usually tag along with either Sophia or Luke to distract himself. But surrounded by his peers, Haymitch still felt like an outsider. He has too much money to be considered a Seam kid but the Townies can't see past his tan skin, dark hair and steel gray eyes. He was Haymitch Abernathy, District 12's only living victor.

"She's nothing." He lied, softly kissing Sophia's forehead and pushed a tray of food towards her. She ate the food slowly; savoring each bite like it would be her last. He tried to focus on his girlfriend, memorizing her features. "Maysilee is just a ball of sunshine." He said sarcastically, rubbing small circles over her knuckles. "She's fun to jab and her reactions are priceless. She needs someone to treat her like her sister isn't dead."

"By you? The man who pretty much killed her sister?" Haymitch flinched and Sophia instantly smoothed her hand over his cheek. "Sorry. That was uncalled for."

"She's nothing to me, Sop." He repeated looking over again as Maysilee covered her lips, laughing hard. But Haymitch could see she was forcing herself to act happy.

"He's looking again." Kane murmured into Maysilee's ear as he leaned over, gently touching her elbow. Maysilee ignored her best friend, bumping his hip with hers as she grabbed her books for the next period. "He's trying not to look but he just can't stop. What did you do to the poor boy?" Maysilee sighed, running her fingers through her hair and peeked in Haymitch's general direction. He had his trademark brooding expression as he sat on top of the table. His fingers laced together with his chin rested on top of them. He wasn't exactly looking directly at her but she could feel it.

"He seems a bit lost." Ivy mentioned as she picked up her own satchel before Kane plucked it out of her hands. Kane is a natural sweetheart but especially now he seems extra sweet on Ivy. Maysilee gave her best male friend a knowing smile as the girls followed him. "May, maybe you should talk to him. He always seems happier after chatting with you."

"What conversations have you been watching?" Maysilee asked as Ivy gently pushed her towards the brooding boy before heading off. Sighing, Maysilee shifted her shoulder bag. "When did I become Haymitch's confidant?" She asked no one before shoving her bare fingers into her pockets and headed towards the boy. She wasn't watching where she was walking and bumped into Sophia Rains. "Sorry." Maysilee said automatically, steady herself and the girl. Sophia instantly recognized Maysilee and stepped away like her touch burned. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Sophia replied curtly, brushing her dark locks out of her heart-shaped face. Maysilee was a bit jealous of the dark beauty in front of her. Despite coming from poverty, Sophia was stunningly beautiful. Her dark complexion and soulful eyes complemented each other perfectly. She held herself with a quiet confidence that Maysilee could only wish she could mimic. "Donner, may I ask you a question?" A tad confused by the older girl's formal request, Maysilee nodded her head. Sophia looked like she was trying to compose herself for any answer. "Is there anything going on between you and Haymitch?"

Maysilee chuckled at the idea. "That's rich." She muttered, running her fingers through her hair. "I annoy him at most. There's no reason for him to like me in any way." Sophia crossed her arms, not believing the blonde girl's statement. "My sister is dead." She stated, ignoring the twang inside her heart and the tears threatening to leak out of her eyes. "He doesn't treat me like I'm gonna shatter and I don't let him forget Marigold isn't here. I'm not Marigold no matter how much we look alike." Sophia looked unconvinced as she continued glaring at Maysilee. The sixteen year old girl sighed and met the older girl's gaze. "I'm not attractive to Haymitch. Now can I talk to him? He looks like he needs a good kick in the rear."

"Knock yourself out." Sophia said before heading into the school building. Maysilee smiled at her nonchalant response and watched as the Seam girl disappeared into the building. She never held a grudge against Sophia despite the animosity between the Townies and Seam. Maysilee should hurry if she wanted to get to class on time. _Not like I need to go to math. _Maysilee thought as she walked over to Haymitch and plopped down beside him.

"Thanks for sic-ing your girlfriend on me." Maysilee said as she crossed her legs. "She was accusing me of having a little tryst with you." Haymitch's eyebrow rise as he allowed her mouth to run, lips threatening to curl up at her tone. "Did you know all our debates and arguments are just our way of expressing our pent-up sexual tension? If you didn't kill my sister, I might actually be attractive to you. Haymitch threw his head back, chuckling at how ridiculous she sounded. "Thought you would like that," Maysilee said fondly.

"I don't get you, Mar." Haymitch admitted, leaning back and stretching his legs out. "I killed Marigold."

"And I'm a candy store brat. I thought we were playing 'state the obvious.'" Maysilee kidded as she laced her arm through the crook of his. "Don't say you're sorry for coming home. I'm sick of your wallowing in guilt and whatever other crap you seem to find. It's not helping anyone and Marigold wouldn't want this. You didn't kill her. The Capitol did. They sent that creature out after you two. They forced the Hunger Games on us. They killed Marigold. You were just the fortunate survivor."

"Unfortunately." He murmured, leaning his head against her shoulder, inhaling her sweet scent. It was nothing like Sophia's earthy smell. Her soothing touch calmed him down unlike anyone else's. _Why? _He thought, leaning against her. "May, what are we?

"I have no idea but I might have lied to Sophia."


	5. collection 5

A/N: I have mix feelings about this update. It's kinda too soon for this to happen and I want to explore Maysilee/Haymitch before another Hunger Game starts but the prompt popped up and I had to follow. Don't worry this isn't the end of this AU. At least three or four more prompts. Remember to review! Sadly, the next update won't be as speedy.

If Only: Collection #5

Pre-Crazy

Sophia Rains looked at her image in the cracked mirror of her home. Her mother stood behind her with a strained smile as she smoothed her daughter's curls down. Eighteen, she was finally eighteen. "Just one more Reaping." Sophia muttered as she stroked the goose feather with her fingers. The familiar faded blue dress clung to her lanky form like a second skin. Her jet black hair curled at the ends from the icy cold wash. Sophia smiled at her reflection, hoping and praying this was the last time she would need to wear the dress.

"Please Sop, you have nothing to worry about." Whirling around, Sophia was greeted by the sight of Luke, leaning against the door frame in his miner outfit. He smiled brightly which created dimples against his tan skin. His long hair was tied back neatly for once. "I will miss seeing you in that dress." He confessed stepping in and winking at her mom. Sophia's mother rolled her eyes and retreated back into the bedroom.

"Down boy," Haymitch's gruff voice said from behind his taller friend. Haymitch stood there in a light tan shirt with the collar open. He wore dark brown pants which actually fit his long legs. Sophia still wasn't used to seeing Haymitch dressed in nice clothes. His black hair was swept to one side as he stepped in, bumping Luke. "How ya doing?" He asked, reaching over to grasp her hand. Sophia smiled, squeezing back just as tight.

"I'm fine. It's just like any other Reaping." She replied.

"You denied the Tesseraes this year right?" He asked, piercing her with his deep eyes. Sophia nodded her head, trying to will away the sick feeling in her stomach. Haymitch's recent salary easily fed her small family of herself, her mother and her ill father. Sophia's older sisters already married and started their own family. She was the last child to go through the Reaping. "Atta girl."

"Even if you are selected Sophia, you have Haymitch here. He'll save you." Luke reminded, dropping into one of the rickety kitchen chairs. "Seven entries. You had tripled that last year and you weren't chosen. Sophia, it's a piece of cake this year. Don't worry." Sophia nodded her head and stepped close to Haymitch, burying her head into his neck, inhaling his scent.

"Do you trust me?" Haymitch whispered, holding her close. Sophia nodded her head, unwilling to lift it. She felt safe in his arms. "Good, you're not going into that Arena."

"Ok."

"Sorry to break up this love-fest." Haymitch cringed and tightened his hold on her. Luke jumped up and glared at the icy woman in high heels and a power suit. Juliet combed her fingers through her flaming red hair and tapped her heels against the coal dusted ground. "Haymitch, we need to prep you before your appearance." Haymitch glared at the woman and kissed Sophia's forehead before trudging after Juliet. "Cute girlfriend." She commented after a moment of icy silence.

"Shut up."

"Calm down, Ivy." Maysilee ordered as she continued fiddling with her friend's hair. "And quit fidgeting or else I might poke your eye out." Ivy calmed herself down, running her fingers over the light purple dress she wore as Maysilee pinned up her golden hair. "It's just another reaping. We'll get through it like always."

"Marigold didn't get through it." Ivy replied before ducking her head down. "Sorry."

"Listen, I'm not going to freak out if you mention Marigold's name. She's… in a better place. I just wished it was under different circumstances. Now, you're done. Trade." Ivy smiled at her reflection before standing up and allowed Maysilee in front of the vanity. On the window sill, a tiny yellow canary sat watching the two girls in interest. The room was unchanged since Marigold's death. There were still two single beds on either side of the room. One untouched for one year. "Your signature braid?"

"Of course." Ivy answered as a knock interrupted their tranquil moment. "Yes?"

"You girls decent?" Kane's clear voice asked through the wooden door. The door creaked open and his handsome face appeared with his hand over his eyes. "Markus is here too but I have to protect your virtue."

"We're decent, you oaf." Maysilee replied as she turned to see the two boys enter in their Sunday's best. Kane wore a vertical button-up with a pair of slacks while Markus stood there in black slacks, white crisp shirt and a suit jacket. "Hi Markus."

"Hey Maysilee." He greeted, awkwardly looking around the room for a spot to sit. Kane just plopped down in Maysilee's bed, putting his feet on the clean sheets. Markus was fond of Marigold before she entered the game. Her loss has affected him greatly but he was gradually getting better, hanging out with Maysilee, Kane and Ivy. He was handsome in a school boy way. As the Mayor's son, he was always top of the class, goodie-two-shoes. His blond hair was cut neatly. Bright blue eyes smiled at Maysilee's reflection. "You two look nice."

"And you're done." Ivy declared, stepping back and smiling at her handiwork. Maysilee's long hair fell into a single braid down her back. Her dress stopped mid-calf, revealing a sliver of her pale skin. The dress was a forest green which contrasted nicely with the golden Mockingjay pendant she proudly wore. "Come on, lazy bum." She ordered, smacking Kane's leg, who pushed himself off to chase after the giggling apothecary's daughter.

"They're happy." Markus noted as Maysilee slipped on a pair of green flats before accepting Markus's arm as he lead her out. She ignored her mother's pointed gaze as they left the candy shop. "Are you sure you want to wear this?" His warm hand gently brushed the pendant, pulling her gaze to the bird. "Doesn't it hold bad memories?" Maysilee bit her lip, curling her fingers around Markus's hand. His clear blue eyes bore into hers.

"Everything holds bad memories." She replied coolly, looking into his eyes. Markus pulled her away from the crowd. "Are you going to treat me like a fragile flower too?" Maysilee muttered, reverting to her usual defense mechanism of underlining biting remarks. The way Markus was looking at her echoed how he gazed at Marigold a year ago, an adoring gaze which made her sister gush on and on about Markus Undersee. "Don't give me that look, Markus."

"What look?" Markus asked, blinking, unconsciously running his fingers over her hand.

"Like she's Marigold." Maysilee and Markus spun around to see Haymitch ambling over. Juliet followed behind closely, eying the blond pair with interest but keeping her distant. "Hey May," he greeted, inserting himself between Markus and Maysilee. "Such a lovely day, huh?" Maysilee rolled her eyes and shoved him. He didn't move, slinging his arm over her slender shoulders; avoid noting how soft her skin was underneath his fingertips. "You heard the lady; don't look at her like she's her dead sister."

"Funny, I can say the same thing to you." Markus replied back before he actually thought about his words. Haymitch and Maysilee both looked at him like he grew a third head. "What?" He asked, miffed at the appearance of the 50th victor. "I can't be a smart aleck?"

"No, that's my job." Haymitch declared before looking back at Maysilee. "Don't date this fruit-loop."

"I – "

"Hey guys," Juliet said, inserting herself in their little group. "Sorry to interrupt but Reaping starts in ten." The two blond teens looked at her before quickly shuffling off, leaving Haymitch alone with Juliet. Maysilee turned her head, giving Haymitch a tiny glare. "Now, why are you so interested in Maysilee Donner's love life? Or rather life in general." Juliet asked as they continued towards the Justice building. Haymitch grunted, ignoring the woman. "Curiosity? You don't do curiosity. Worry? Ha, that's funny. Survivor's guilt?" Haymitch's eyes harden and Juliet sighed. "You can't still be guilt about her sister. It will drive you insane."

"Maybe I should be insane?" Haymitch replied before heading into the Justice building, waiting for his announcement. The Capitol escort sighed and pulled out her watch as the seconds ticked away.

#19. Crazy

"I volunteer!" That single line rippled through the plaza of District 12 from an unknown source. Haymitch stiffened as he recognized the female voice when he stood up from his seat. Sophia Rains stopped mid-step, twisting around to see who saved her from certain death. A lithe blonde appeared from the masses of seventeen years. Her head was held high as she glared at Juliet with icy blue eyes. Her intense gaze was unwavering as a familiar mockingjay pendant swung against her chest. "I volunteer as tribute." She repeated making sure everyone, the Seam families, the Merchant upper-class and especially Capitol fans, heard her.

Juliet pursed her lips together as she stepped away from the mic. The camera flew around the plaza, capturing every shot. Ivy clenched to Maysilee's arm, trying to pull her away. Kane Mellark strained against the Peacekeepers, trying to reach his friends, anguish clear on his handsome face. The Donner parents sobbed silently, realizing they're going to lose another child to the cruel game. Haymitch clenched his fingers together and forced them into his pocket.

"Come here, sweetheart and tell us your name." Juliet ordered, pretending she didn't recognize the girl, the girl who shared the face of the deceased female tribute from last year. Maysilee smirked and gently peeled Ivy's arms off her arm. She whispered something to her best friend who continued sobbing. Kane lost the will to fight as Maysilee walked past him, giving him a reassuring smile. Sophia Rains grabbed her arm before Maysilee past. The two girls locked eyes, communicating a silent message. "Hurry up, dear. We don't have all day."

"Don't worry, Juliet." Maysilee said as she gave Sophia a slight nod before facing the Capitol escort. "I'm all yours." Haymitch would have smirked if his heart wasn't pounding so hard against his chest. He walked over to where Juliet was standing as Maysilee ascended up the stairs. She wore her false smile so well it almost looked real. _Already playing the Capitol games, _Haymitch thought as she held her hand out to Juliet. "Maysilee Donner, at your service."

Juliet's mouth popped open in fake surprised as she gaped at Maysilee. "Maysilee Donner?" She repeated slowly, making sure everyone knew who was going into the Arena. Haymitch could almost hear the shock gasps from the Capitol as their slow minds connect who she is. "As in Marigold Donner's sister?" Maysilee nodded her head and turned away from the crowd, hugging herself.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Haymitch whispered as Juliet steered the attention away from Maysilee and to the male glass ball. His Seam eyes were focused on the flying camera as he leaned in close. "Maysilee, do you have a death wish?"

"At least Sophia will be safe." Maysilee countered back, giving him an icy gaze. He should be relieved. Sophia was going to live but instead he had a sick feeling in his stomach as he glared at the beautiful girl beside him. Her unwavering stare and straight posture embodied confidence and power but Haymitch could see the bit of uncertainty in her sapphire eyes. "I know what I'm doing, Haymitch." She whispered back, trying to convince him or maybe herself this was the right decision. "So back off." Haymitch was close to dragging her off the stage until Juliet's booming voice woke him up, reminding him where he was.

"Ryan Road!" Haymitch and Maysilee both looked up as a fifteen year old Seam boy flinched and started the long walk to the stage. No one was going to volunteer for him. They all knew it as they watched him in his faded clothes and tired eyes, shoulders slump in defeat. Ryan stood beside Maysilee, wiry and way too young, trying to look strong. "These are your District 12 tributes of Hunger Games 51st!" The silence was piercing as Maysilee and Ryan shook hands, sealing their fate.

#20. Love

The insistent ticks of the clock penetrated Haymitch's core as he sat in the overly stuffed chair, staring into the darkness of the Capitol's skyline. His nails dug into the fabric of the chair, sick at the situation he's been forced in. The television was muted but the images were familiar as all the tributes of the 51st flashed across the screen. An alluring eighteen year old girl from District 1 smiled seductively at camera, playing with her gem necklaces. A burly District 2 boy scowled at the screen, muscles bulging underneath the suit he wore, the clear favorite. A charismatic handsome boy from District 4 laughed and kidded with Caesar, the crowd pleaser. Their training numbers appeared underneath their silent conversation. District 1: 8 District 2: 10 District 4: 10.

Haymitch sighed and closed his eyes, feeling as if the deck was stacked against him. No, it was always stacked against him. It will always be against him. He opened his eyes as the recap continues. A District 5 boy grunted at every question Caesar asked. A spacey District 9 girl, eyes' sifting left and right like something was going to jump out and snatch her. A lanky teenager from District 11 yawned in their face like he was better than everyone in the room. District 5: 9 District 9: 2 District 11: 10.

Caesar faced the camera as the District 11 boy sauntered off. His mouth moved but no words came out. The camera shifted to the door as a pale figure appeared. Haymitch clicked the un-mute button just as the cheers of the crowd exploded when Maysilee appeared. She wore a floor-length strapless coal black gown; bring out her pale skin and golden hair. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, revealing her slender neck and big blue eyes. Her lips twisted into her soft smile as she waved shyly to the crowd.

"Maysilee, my dear. You look radiating." Caesar greeted as he kissed her hand. Maysilee giggled and covered her mouth as she delicately crossed her legs. A number underneath the screen flashed. District 12: 7. _Not low but not high enough. _

"Stop Caesar, I bet you say that to every pretty girl." Maysilee joked back as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Her mockingjay pin gleamed under the glaring lights. She looked composed like it was just another day, playing a part for the Capital crowd. Her blue eyes sparkled as she playfully shoved Caesar's shoulder, like she would if it was Kane beside her. Haymitch frowned, hating every second she was in the spotlight. He just wanted to grab her and protect her from all of this.

"Only the special ones, Maysilee. I've noticed you have a huge number of fans already." That triggered a huge cheer and people stood up, waving signs with her pin. Boys with 'I heart Maysilee' signs cheered and waved their hands fanatically, trying to get the girl's attention. "How are you reacting to the huge amount of attention?" He asked as Maysilee blew her fans a kiss and a playful wink. "Well, I assume?"

"I guess. I'm not like my shy sister or surly mentor, I'm an angel." She teased, placing her index finger on her lips like she was telling the audience a secret. "Shh, don't tell Haymitch that. I might get in trouble." Caesar and everyone chuckled and the screen switched to a shot of him. It was weird watching himself on the screen, scowling at his tribute with his arms crossed. Haymitch wore a black button-up shirt with faded gray jeans. On the cuffs of his dress shirt were cuff links with the number 50. Maysilee gave him a little wave which his on-screen self rolled his eyes at.

"You and Haymitch don't see eye-to-eye?" Caesar asked, drawing attention back to Maysilee. She posed herself in a thinking position with her index finger on her chin and her eyes look up. "If I remember your reaping correctly, you volunteered for someone named Sophia Rains who I believe is Haymitch's girlfriend." The crowd fell silent, waiting with baited breath for Maysilee's answer. The adorable expression slide away from her face and she fully faced Caesar. "Why?"

"Isn't it cruel to force him to spend one week with the girl he loves and then send her off into the Arena where he might not be able to save her, Caesar?" Maysilee answered as she grabbed Caesar's hand, appealing to his and hopefully the Capitol's human side. "I –" Haymitch clicked the mute button again, cutting off the rest of her response. The silent images continued moving but Haymitch didn't want to think. Maysilee said something else, the crowd goes insane and then the buzzer rang, signaling the end. She completely captured the Capitol's hearts if she didn't already.

"What an ironic statement." Haymitch turned his head to see Ryan standing there in a t-shirt and pajama bottom combo. His black hair was sticking up in all directions. His Seam eyes were bright and clear as he observed his television self enter the stage, stumbling through his interview with Caesar. He started to fill out from gorging himself with rich food. "You're going to save her."

"Why would you say that?" Haymitch barked, standing up and pressing the off button. "You have as much as a chance as she does." Ryan let out a sadistic laugh and shook his head. Haymitch ambled over, grabbing the front of the kid and dragging him forward so their noses were almost touching. He annoyed him how much of himself he saw in Ryan. "Twenty-four kids come in. One leaves. After all the glitz and glamour of the first week is over, that's all that matters. There is a one in twenty-four chance that you'll make it, Ryan."

"You won't save me. You won't even look at me if there's a slight chance of saving her. You love her, Haymitch." Haymitch wanted to lash out at Ryan, let out all the frustration that's been building up for the week. But instead, a slow reel of memories played. "The hostile conversation in the train."

_Maysilee flinched when Haymitch's fist flew towards her, striking the wall behind her. He was inches away from her, their breath mingled together. Juliet cringed in her corner as she tried to calm Haymitch down. Ryan sat in his chair, leisurely chewing on a bread roll, watching the drama unfolded in front of him. "Haymitch! Get away from her!" Juliet cried as she grabbed his shoulder, trying to pull him away. Haymitch didn't budge as he glared at Maysilee._

"_I don't own you anything." He hissed in a low threatening voice._

"_I didn't volunteer for Sophia." Maysilee argued back, shoving against his chest. Haymitch backed off, pacing the length of the field. "I have the best chance out of all females in District 12 to come home." She rattled off, smoothing the creases of her dress and sitting down beside Ryan. "The Capitol already knows my face, Maysilee Donner, Marigold's identical twin. They know my story. The girl who's sister died last year, District Twelve's Angel. They already love me."_

"_And how is their love going to save you in the Arena?" Haymitch spat back, looming over Maysilee. "Will their love kill a Career as he stands over you with a knife in his hands? Will their love save you from rabid monsters seeking your blood? When you stepped on that stage, you basically signed your own death certificate, Maysilee. Is that what Marigold would had wanted?"_

"_I don't know. She's dead." Maysilee bit back. They were throwing punches, hitting where it hits. "It almost sounds like you wanted Sophia to be here instead of me, fighting for her life, dying instead of me." Haymitch turned away, hating himself for actually considering it better if Sophia was here instead. "I worked with Ivy for months, learning which plants can save me and kill others. My parents can't look at me without seeing Marigold. They lost one daughter last year but they act like we're both dead."_

"_And now they're gonna lose both of you." Haymitch replied, watching for the hurt to flash across her eyes. It didn't come and Haymitch wondered how long she has been planning this crazy stunt. He reached out, to offer her some form of comfort._

"_Sob, sob. Blah. Blah. Blah." Haymitch turned and glared at Ryan. Ryan was lounging in his seat, feet on the table as he sipped a cup of juice. "Look, she's already on the train. We can't exactly turn around and return her. Bitching about it won't help, Haymitch. Now sit down and let indulge ourselves."_

"The opening ceremonial."

"_Whoa…" Ryan said as adjusted his miner's helmet. Haymitch turned around to see Maysilee dressed in a miner's outfit as well with a few altercations. Her shirt was half-unbuttoned, revealing her flat stomach and subtle chest. A black half-tee covered her breast but left little to imagination. She wore the miner's belt with a pick-ax and lantern. Her head lamp was one, flickering on and off._

"_Don't look." Haymitch ordered, shoving the helmet over the hormonal teen's eyes. Maysilee tugged at her sides, trying to cover herself just a bit. Haymitch noticed her signature long hair was cropped to shoulder-length. "They touched your hair." He commented, touching the intentionally rough cut which gave her a hard edge. Maysilee's cheeks were caked with sparkling black make-up hiding her blush._

"_It's safer if it's shorter. They can't pull my hair." Maysilee answered, adjusting her necklace so it fell over her heart. Haymitch fixed it and smiled at her. "Do you still hate me?" She asked, sounding a bit vulnerable. Haymitch looked at her form in the sexy version of the miner's outfit before giving her a rakish smile._

"_Not right now."_

"You love her. I don't know when and I don't know how but between the times you left the Arena and to this point, you fell for her." Ryan said, peeling Haymitch's now limp hands off of his shirt. "I'm going to try to win but if I see Maysilee, I won't kill her. District 12 pride and all." Haymitch watched Ryan return to his room before closing his eyes, trying to figure out a way to bring at least one of them home.


	6. collection 6

A/N: Four day weekend! Thank you Veteran's day and all the amazing men and women who sacrifice their lives to protect us. This is probably my last update until December. The quarter is ending soon and I have to get my butt in gear if I want to keep my GPA up and my scholarship. This AU isn't ending any time soon. Happy or sad about it? Enjoy and review!

If Only: Collection #6

#21 New

"Wake up, Haymitch." A soft hand touched his, triggering a violent reaction. He was quick; the year out of the Arena hasn't dulled it by much. His hand pulled out his pocket knife, snapped it open and held it steadily to the female's neck. Haymitch wasn't in his plushy Capitol room, slump in the armchair from hours of searching his brain for an answer. His dark eyes were foggy. He was lost in his nightmare of his Arena. Wide blue eyes stared at him as a slender face looked down at his tense form. Light blonde tresses cupped her innocent face. "It's time to get up." She said in her sweet voice.

"Marigold…" He muttered, not believing his eyes as he pulled away.

"What are you talking about, Haymitch?" Marigold's voice turned sharp as she shoved the knife away. Her appearance shifted from a pale blonde girl into a redhead with cat-like eyes. "And how did you sneak this in?" She demanded pulling the knife from his fingers before snapping it shut. Haymitch ignored her question, running his hand over his face as he rubbed the sleepiness away. She looked composed in her suit as she held a tablet, tapping the screen rapidly. Haymitch peeked at the wall clock, cursing as he noticed the time. "Maysilee and Ryan were just picked up a few minutes ago. You need to head to the control room soon."

"Wouldn't want to miss the blood bath," Haymitch replied sarcastically as he ran his fingers through his hair before heading into his room. Juliet followed, eyes still focused on her electronic clipboard. Her red hair was tied in a ponytail, falling over her shoulder. Her suit was black unlike her usual flamboyant colors. She looked like she was mourning. Haymitch peeled his t-shirt as he noticed her confused expression. "What's wrong?"

"I'm worried." She answered truthfully as Haymitch entered the shower, allowing the icy water to finally wake him up. She stood at the door, still looking at her clipboard as numbers jumped up and down.

"What now? We don't have any sponsors?" Haymitch asked, running his fingers over his face as the water washed over him.

"More like we have too many." Juliet muttered. Haymitch twisted his head and stared at the door separating them, not believing her word for a second. "Haymitch, what if neither of them makes it past the blood bath?" Juliet mused, tapping her chin with her index finger. "These people are throwing their money into an investment they have no idea if it would pan out. It's just plain stupidity – HEY!" Haymitch grabbed her toy, water droplets falling over the screen. His eyes stared at the digital numbers as they slowly but surely climbing up, increasing by hundreds even thousands.

"Juliet, it's not like we're their stock broker." He bit back, shoving the tablet into her chest before drying off. _With that much money… _Haymitch thought as a plan slowly formed in his head. _She's smart. She's smart enough to get out if she survives the blood bath. When she survives the blood bath. _He corrected. _She will get out. _Haymitch reasoned as he shrugged on his outfit. "Let them throw their money away, especially if I get to play with it." Juliet looked torn between helping her tributes and her fellow Capitol citizens. "That money can save Ryan or Maysilee, Juliet. Save them." She nodded her head and walked off heading to her office with a promotion plan. Haymitch nodded his head; glad she was finally on board before heading to the long elevator ride down to the Pit, the nickname for the mentor control center.

"Well, hello, hello. Look who's we have here." Haymitch opened his eyes, sighing as a tall dark-skinned man in his early twenties entered the elevator. He was dressed in slacks with suspenders. His hands were tucked in his pockets as he flashed Haymitch a white smile which he didn't return. Haymitch glanced at the elevator number: 11. "I'm Chaff." He introduced, holding his right hand out. Haymitch instinctively reached out only to touch a stump where his hand should be. He reeled back, glaring at his new 'friend'. "Oops, forgot about that." Chaff replied, grinning when Haymitch scowled. "Not funny?"

"You're hilarious." He replied sarcastically as the elevator descended deep down.

"You have to have a certain sense of humor if you want to stay sane in this business. Or alcohol, lots of alcohol." Chaff advised as he pulled out an alcohol flask and shook it, flashing a steady grin. Haymitch was glad he hasn't descended that low yet, stooping down to alcohol to fight off his demons. Sophia, Luke and even Maysilee have been keeping him sane. _But for how long? _He wondered as he stepped out of the elevator.

The Pit is a high tech center where the mentors watch and wordlessly guide their tributes to victory. The room was lined with television, all currently blue from lack of video feed. In the center was a large hologram pad which would offer a 3-D image of the Arena. The trackers embedded in their tributes will transmit their location on the holopad. Twenty-four stations circled the holopad for each mentor. Haymitch crossed the room, ignoring the curious looks of his fellow victors and sat down. Chaff ambled after, greeting a few mentors he befriended over his short years, before sitting down, already unscrewing the top of his flask. Haymitch sat down in his chair, tapping the screens gingerly, absorbing as much information as he could in a short amount of time.

"You worried?" Chaff asked as he noticed Haymitch's rapid movements. "You got a plan, kid?" Haymitch continued ignoring Chaff's patter as he searched the screen. The station was set up like a box of three screens all transparent, still giving him a perfect view of the holopad. The left screen had the bio of each of his tributes. There are images of their face, all sober and serious. Ryan looked even older than he really is. Maysilee's eyes weren't warm but icy and detached. Beside each picture was a heart monitor, showing their vitals. The middle screen was for personal feeds of exact location where their tributes would be. The screen was black except for a clock on the top corner. _Ten minutes, _Haymitch read, as the seconds ticked away. The right screen was vastly different. It was like an inventory list of things. Weapons, food, medicine … anything and everything they would need to survive at the right price. In the corner of that screen, the sponsors' money counter ticked, still climbing up.

"Bingo." Haymitch muttered as he found exactly what he needed and smiled as it was in the middle of his price range. He would have to buy it on the first day and pray she was really as smart as he gave her credit for. A faceless female voice devoid of emotion bounced through the room.

"Mentors, please be seat. The tributes are entering the Arena." Everyone was already seated as the screens lit up, revealing the Arena. Haymitch leaned forward as the hologram pad glowed brightly before dimming, replicating a perfect scaled down model of the Arena. He sucked in a breath.

"Shit…" Chaff muttered from Haymitch's right as he studied the Arena and taking a swig from his flask. Haymitch suddenly wished he had a drink, feeling dread pooling at the bottom of his stomach. The camera panned out, showing an overview of the Cornucopia. It was in the center of a shallow lake, with weapons and supplies scattered in it. The Arena is a mixed between deserted ruins of a city and nature was trying to reclaim it.

Haymitch found Ryan on the south side of the Cornucopia, playing with his cord bracelet, his token as he waited for the minute to tick away. He wore all black, nearly blended into the shadow of the large horn. A small twelve was marked on the right shoulder. He had a determined expression on his face which impressed Haymitch. _You can only save one. _A voice reminded him and Haymitch turned away, looking for the blonde. Maysilee stood with her eyes closed, hands clenched over her pendant and lips moving rapidly like she was whispering a prayer. She looked beautiful and when Claudius's booming voice broke through the silence, her eyes slowly opened, steeling herself for the horrors she was going to face.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the 51st Hunger Games begin!"

Interlude

Juliet Young wordlessly tapped her tablet as she fiddled around with another promotion poster from District 12 tributes. The editing team got great footage from before the games of Maysilee as she helped with the Harvest Festival. It was a good angelic shot of her helping a young girl with tying her shoelaces. Her hair was longer and she resembled her deceased sister more than now. It would tug at the compassionate side of the audience. The second photo was from the Games. Maysilee's shoulder length hair was dirty with bits of dirt and leaves clinging to her curls. Her sapphire eyes were hardened as she held a knife precariously in her hands. It was a dramatic change. Juliet hoped a few of the Capitol citizens would remember the charming girl from the interview and give generously to save her.

She flicked to another window, this poster with a darker background. It was for Ryan Road, the male tribute. It was a photo from his interview outfit. Juliet couldn't help but compare Ryan to Haymitch of last year. They both shared the same brooding look, like the world was constantly against them. He had the typical dark eyes of the Seam and black hair. Ryan looked decent even good with his hands tucked in his black slacks and hair combed neatly. His eyes possessed a calculating glint and a certain coldness that a few dangerous Careers seemed to own, a sharp 'killer' edge that sponsors aiming to win search for. Ryan held a crazy detachment which was completely opposite of Maysilee's natural ability to connect to the crowd.

"Hello Ms. Young." Juliet forced herself not to shiver and slowly looked up, pulling off an emotionless smile. A man in his early fifties descended down the steps of the Game Center, tracking her with snake-like eyes. His white hair and prim-pressed black suit embodied a menacing feel. He wore a white rose on his lapel. She barely flinched at the faint scent of blood. "It's the fourth day. How many of your tributes are still alive?" Juliet waited until he was beside her before continuing her walk to her office in the publicity center with President Snow beside her.

"Surprisingly two." She replied, tapping away on her tablet to a live feed of the games. In the corner was a list of the remaining tributes. Fourteen were still alive, navigating through the city-forest hybrid Arena. The list was ranked by favorites. On top of the list was a tie between District 2 Alexander and District 4 Marco. A close third was Maysilee despite her low kill rate. Ryan wasn't far behind, slowly climbing up the list in both popularity and kills. "We have a pair of fighters this year."

"Oh yes, a crowd favorite." Snow commented as Maysilee appeared on screen creeping forward, holding her knife out as she approached an injured Career. The two traded a few words before she convinced the boy to throw his spear to the side. Maysilee approached after leaving her knife behind and gingerly touched the boy's wound. Juliet bit her lip, praying the girl wasn't making a mistake helping the District 4 boy. "And a dark horse." The feed switched to Ryan who was following the Career pack, twirling his knife expertly in his fingers. His hard gray eyes narrowed like he could sense the camera focused on his face. The District 2 male shouted at Ryan who schooled his expression into a quiet follower, not the manipulator of the whole group. "I wonder which one Haymitch is going to save."

_Is that a rhetorical question? _Juliet thought as she opened her personal office and set her tablet into its dock. Snow followed, sitting down one of her comfortable chairs as the television automatically turned on. "I'm sorry his girl didn't go in." Juliet apologized, remembering what her higher-up told her on Reaping day, 'Whatever name you pull, you will call Sophia Rains.' Juliet sighed as she watched the two Capitol experts debating about the tribute's actions. "We didn't count for Ms. Donner to volunteer. Should we 'take care' of Sophia Rains? Keep Haymitch in his place?" Snow pondered as an image of Maysilee flashed across the screen, her fingers wrapping straps of ripped t-shirt over the wound of the young male.

"I don't think that will be necessary. Haymitch is rather fond of this girl, isn't he?" Snow stated as he recalled another blonde with the same face but different eyes, softer weaker eyes. Juliet nodded her head, sending off the final copy of the posters to her publicity team. "She's the deceased girl's sister, right?"

"Marigold Donner of the 50th Games." Juliet informed, pushing a few files across her cluttered desk, searching for another sponsor to contact.

"Ah, I remember her. Many men requested her if she won the game last year. She was … delicious." Juliet cringed at the lecherous tone Snow's voice dipped into. "Such a shame." Juliet looked up, staring straight into Snow's snake eyes. Dread pooled at the bottom of her stomach. She knew exactly what he was planning. "We could kill two birds with one stone with this girl." Juliet nodded her head, slowly hating herself for working for this man. "Let's hope she wins." Snow said before standing up and leaving the room. Juliet slumped down in her chair, pressing her palms against her eyes. For one moment, Juliet hoped Maysilee wouldn't win. Her fate outside the Arena may be worse than death.

#22 Beggar

Maysilee sighed as she leaned her weary body against the trunk of the tree. The building she was occupying seconds ago was burning brightly. She was lucky to escape the inferno by only a few seconds. The ends of her short blonde hair were singed from the intense heat. Her sturdy jacket protected her arms and chest from major burns. She took steady breathes, filling her lungs with fresh air as she tried to process what happened in the last few minutes. "Thank god, I'm a light sleeper." Maysilee murmured as she placed her hand over her chest, trying to will the organ to calm down. Just seconds ago, she was asleep, exhausted from constantly moving through the ruins of the city. Only a soft series of beeps, signaling the trap was tripped, woke her up and she escaped. Massaging her sore neck, Maysilee pushed herself up and forced her body to put some distance between her and the burning rubble.

She followed the river upstream, away from the golden Cornucopia and the Career camp. Her pack was tiny, a fanny pack with a few essentials. She was only able to grab a few things during the blood bath before running into the city ruins. Her bright orange fanny pack was a huge contrast against her black jacket. It rested against the small of her back, resting easily on her hips. Her only weapon, a sharp serrated knife was strapped to her upper thigh. She was forced to cut her pants into shorts from an earlier unpleasant encounter. Inside her pack were a few sturdy pieces of twine, iodine to purify water and a bottle. Finding food was painfully easy; hidden in the depths of the ruins were cabinet of canned food, obviously booby trapped. Maysilee was able to by-pass a few traps, earning her a package of dry meat, a few canned goods and fruit before she had to run. Maysilee ran her right hand over her left arm, still feeling the sting from two days ago. Whatever was in that dart hasn't affected her yet. Maysilee pushed the memory away, reaching into her inner pocket at the vial a silver parachute delivered to her.

_What is it, Haymitch? _She wondered, taking out the clear but well-built bottle to observe its content. It was an elongated container of clear unidentifiable liquid, almost like water. The liquid had a sweet smell and Maysilee quickly jammed the top back on, recognizing the scent from the Training Center. Whatever it was, Maysilee knew it wasn't for her. _You'll know what to do with it. _The note that was sent with the bottle read. She remembered moments when she would read the words over and over again, trying to tease out the meaning. _What will I know? _She questioned, looking at the sky and glaring hoping Haymitch saw her frustrated expression. _What are you trying to tell me, Haymitch?_

Sighing, she slipped the bottle into her concealed pocket before heading to the water's edge, glancing around with her knife held tightly in her hands. She silently filled her water bottle, keeping her ears open for any sudden movements. It was muggy today in the Arena. Maysilee was tempted to chop the rest of her hair off. It was at an awkward length where because of the intense heat, the strands clung to the nape of her neck. She absentmindedly reached into her pocket, pulling out a strip of fabric she twisted into a hair tie. The white fabric looked tiny in her hand and the crimson blotch of blood stood out like a beacon. Maysilee stared at the small fleck as it dragged a memory from the dark recess of her mind.

"_Please…" The girl with big brown eyes and plain brown hair gasped as she took a ragged breath. "Make it stop…" Maysilee stood there frozen as the tiny girl, barely twelve reached out towards her, pushing a knife towards her. Her dark eyes were begging for an end, to end it all. Maysilee touched the rough hilt of the knife, hearing her own heartbeat in her ears. Thump. Thump. Thump. "Please… end it." She nodded her head, shuffling closer and lifted the knife, to finish the deed._

Maysilee gasped at the memory, pressing her head against her knees, dry-heaving as she tried to suck in much needed air. She felt dizzy and as she stared at her hands, she could only see red, scarlet blotches against her pale skin. _Get your head together May. You're going to get yourself killed. _She lectured herself, forcing her eyes open. A masculine groan, almost inaudible, sounded from her left. Maysilee moved without thinking, jumping to the nearest tree. Her knife was clenched in her fingers as she searched the area. Another moan broke through the silence. "Oh fuck…" a young man growled as Maysilee peeked behind from her tree.

"You know, if you keep groaning like that, someone might actually come put you out of your misery." Maysilee said, forcing her voice to come out as indifferent as she took in the horrible sight in front of her. It was one of the Career tributes, lying there with a gaping abdomen wound. She forced herself not to rush over at the sight of the grave wound. A spear sat beside the young man, threatening. The boy opened his eyes at the sound of her voice; deep sea-green orbs stared at her. He didn't immediately reach for his spear, contemplating what her next move could be. Maysilee wondered the same thing as words started tumbling from her mouth. "You really think if I was going to kill you, I would actually talk to you?" She asked, taking a step back and leaning against the tree.

"There are some sick bastards in these games, this year." He said in response, reaching for the spear. Maysilee tensed but didn't bolt, keeping her sapphire eyes focused on the young man's green ones. "Kinda of messed up if the angel of District 12 was one of them." He coughed.

"Good to know you still have a sense of humor." Maysilee replied back. "How bad is the wound?"

"From a scale of 1 to 10? I saw 7 slowly heading towards a 8." He said. Amber tresses fell over his forehead as he looked up. "Are you here to kill me?" He asked before sucking in a sharp breath and moaning. "Now it's a 8. Shit."

"What's your name?" Maysilee asked, wondering what possessed her to help this annoying District 4 boy.

"Marco, angel." He replied after a few tense seconds. Maysilee looked up, thinking of another boy back home, knowing she had to help this boy.

"I'm not an angel." Maysilee corrected as she stepped out in the open and took a chance. She could almost hear Haymitch's voice cursing her for being stupid. Marco's deep eyes were focused on her as she dropped her knife and held her hands out, showing she had nothing else, leaving her life in the balance. "It's Maysilee." Marco reached for his spear and Maysilee cringed, bracing herself for the pain.

"I know who you are." He said as the spear fell to the ground, beside her. Maysilee opened her eyes as Marco smiled at her, making little dimples appear on the edge of his mouth. It drew attention to his sun-kissed skin, handsome face and kissable lips. "It's hard not to know who you are." Maysilee rushed over, dropping down beside him and placing her head against the gaping wound, closing the gap. "So what's the plan, Doc?"

She ignored him, moving through the motions and recalling what Ivy and her father did to such grave injuries. He needed stitches but the likelihood of finding a sewing kit was slim. "I hope you don't mind being shirtless for a while." She muttered as she ripped the remains of his white shirt before pouring the rest of her water to clean the wound.

"I don't think anyone would mind." He kidded, digging his nails into Maysilee's shoulder as she moved him into an upright position. She mindlessly ran her fingers over his skin, ignoring the chisel chest and well-defined arms as she tried to locate any other major injuries. She reached into her pack and she could feel Marco tense.

"Relax, I didn't undress you just to stab you." She replied, pulling out a few leaves before shoving them into her mouth, chewing them into a fine paste. "These leaves have healing properties only when they're mashed together." She explained, spreading them over his wound. Marco cringed. "Sorry, they also hurt."

"No, really?" He muttered, matching her gaze. A few strands of Maysilee's blonde hair fell into her face as she started ripping strips of his shirt into makeshift bandages. She moved closer, focused on wrapping the wound. His breath fanned her face and Maysilee forced her blush down at their close proximity. "I wouldn't mind dying like this…" he flirted, running his fingers down her arm in a soothing manner.

"If you can flirt, you're not going to die." Maysilee said as she sat back, forcing a bit of distance between them. She shoved her things back into her pack, moving to stand up. "May the odds be in your favor." She muttered about to move away when Marco's large hand clasped around her arm. "Are you going to kill me? Ironic huh?"

"Aren't you morbid?" He whispered back, regaining his strength. "There are fourteen of us left, a blood seeking Career pack hunting both of our asses and you just want to leave?" Maysilee regarded him with weary eyes and he sighed. "I don't know how things work in your district but we don't randomly save people and just walk off in 4. I owe you and since we're in this fucking place, the only way I can repay you is to keep you safe for a bit at least. Allies?" Maysilee bit her lip, wondering what he was playing. Marco's emerald eyes were clear and bright, with no trace of deceit. His lips curled up in a smirk. "Do you regret saving me now?"

"Yeah, you're really annoying." She kidded, standing up and holding her hand out. "Just keep that pretty mouth shut. I would like to be alive for a little longer." Marco smiled back, grabbing her hand. Maysilee's eyes slid shut, savoring the brief human contact.

"Deal, sweetheart."


	7. collection 7

A/N: Hello everyone! I just finished a few of my midterms and the urge to write was too strong. This quarter hasn't been kind to me. Tests, projects and readings are starting to stack up. Winter Quarter is zipping by so fast. Just a few details about Maysilee and Marco and a flashback scene about life after Haymitch won. Hope you enjoy it! Reviews please! I promise the next part will be worth the wait!

If Only: Collection #7

#23 False

"You know what a good icebreaker is." Marco stated as he settled against the sturdy cement wall where Maysilee set him by. The silent girl gave him a blank stare before turning her back on him and setting their supplies out. He watched silently waiting for a response. They haven't spoken for the whole day despite their close proximity when Maysilee was wrapping his wounds. "Twenty questions." Marco answered when the girl failed to answer him.

"Twenty questions?" She repeated, gathering a tiny pile of kindling before striking her flint. Tiny sparks jumped from the stone, trying to catching the dry tinder. The blonde prayed, hoping it wouldn't go out as she gently pushed it towards the larger pile of wood. The flames ate the wood achingly slow but it eventually caught. She sighed in relief and tucked her tools into her back pocket before facing her unlikely ally. "It might be too exciting for your condition." Marco stuck his tongue out at her before cringing from his sudden shift. Instinctively, Maysilee moved towards him, placing her hands gently over the makeshift bandages.

Marco didn't say anything as he observed the beautiful girl up close. The light from the flames bounced off the concrete walls, dancing over Maysilee's pale but slowly tanning skin. Her hair fell out of its ponytail, the jagged ends tickling her cheek as she leaned down to observe the wrapping. Maysilee suddenly glanced up, giving Marco a full view of her striking blue eyes as she gently reached out, touching his forehead, caressing his heated skin. Marco knew Maysilee Donner is a stunning seventeen year old, the whole nation of Panem knew. But right now, with her hand against his face, her breath tickling his cheek, and her mesmerizing eyes only focused on him, Marco truly understood how beautiful she was, inside and out.

"Go." She ordered, turning away to pull the pack he salvaged from the escape over. For a second, Marco thought she wanted him to kiss her senselessly but his foggy mind gradually cleaned up. "Twenty questions? You wanted to play." Marco mentally shook his head and smiled, causing tiny dimples to appear on the side of his mouth.

"Finally falling for my charm?" Marco teased, finally feeling like himself again. She rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly, searching through the various pockets the huge pack had. Despite Maysilee's unfortunate encounter in the city ruins, it was too late and dangerous to venture out into the woods. The Capitol's hybrids tended to stalk around at night on unsuspecting tributes. Also, Marco's short time with the Career pack has been insightful. He informed Maysilee earlier about Alex's uneasiness about the ruins. There was something haunting about the city. Maysilee silently agreed with the cruel District 2 boy but she didn't tell her ally. As long as the Career pack kept away, she was willing to stay for one more night.

"What's your favorite color?" Marco asked.

"Storm gray." She answered without thinking before looking up quickly. "I mean green, forest green." Marco gave her a sideways glance as she looked down at the plastic bottle in her hand. She tried to fill the silence to cover her slip. "It reminds me of the forest that surrounds our district. Even in the darkest times, I can just look outside and feel slightly better, lighter. It's silly." She finished before tossing the bottle towards him.

"What are these?" Marco asked, clenching the bottle and slowly unscrewing the cap. A few white unmarked pills tumbled into his large hands.

"I'm not sure. They're pain killers, poison or sugar pills." Marco gave her a skeptical look. The girl just shrugged her shoulders, trying to play it off. "Take them or don't. Either way it's a plus for me." He sighed but took the pills, grimacing as they went down. The two waited with baited breath, wondering if Marco was going to keel over. After a few moments, she spoke again. "What's your favorite color?"

"Blue," he answered without hesitation. The light moved across his face, accenting his high cheekbones, smooth skin and define chin. His green eyes met hers for a fraction of a second. "A blue where the sea and the sky meet. It's breathtaking. It's about the same shade of your eyes, Maysilee." She flushed and Marco grinned. He wasn't like any guys back in District 12. It was comforting. It was dangerous. "Your turn and no more stealing questions." Maysilee chuckled and twisted a piece of her golden hair between her fingers, pondering.

"What made you betray the Career pack?"

Marco let out a cynical chuckle escaped his lips before leaning his head against the study wall, pressing his hand against the fresh wound. "Pulling out the big guns, Maysilee."

"I play to win, Marco." She replied just as the anthem started. A tense silence fell over the two as Maysilee stood up to pull the damaged drape away to peek at the sky. Her eyes focused on the virtual sky as faces appeared, quietly noting who was there and who wasn't. Marco didn't move from his spot. Dark eyes focused on the dancing flames. A pretty face of a fourteen year old girl appeared with auburn hair and deep brown eyes.

"That's Amy." Maysilee turned, remembering the boy beside her. Marco's dark green eyes were focused on the young girl with sad eyes. His voice was deep as he recounted what happened today. "I found her dead in the river. Ironic huh? A District 4 kid who died by drowning. But it doesn't add up. Ames is… was an amazing swimmer and she drowns in a pond of five feet water?" Maysilee wanted to reach out, to comfort the boy but the hurt was still raw. She could hear it in his voice. The death of his district partner hit him harder than the wound on his abdomen. "I snapped, went on a rampage with a sword. I was about to wound a few Careers before someone stopped me. Alex was going to execute me until someone stepped in."

"Who stopped him?"

"That's two questions. I'm gonna get back at you soon." Maysilee rolled her eyes and bit back a smile. "There was this guy, a year or two younger than us." Marco narrated, running his fingers through his amber locks. "I don't remember his name but he was tall, dark-skinned with black hair. The number on his armband has a one on it." Maysilee's mouth opened slightly as her quick mind connected the dots. "He was convincing, appealing to the hunter side of Alex. In that moment, I hated him. He sounded just like Alex but in reality, he saved my life. He stabbed me but allowed me to escape with the pack and spear, telling Alex to wait a few hours before chasing me down."

"The wound was deep but it didn't hit any vital organs." Maysilee murmured, biting her thumb. _Ryan… what did you get yourself into? _She thought, taking slow steady breaths to gather her thoughts. "It has to be Ryan, my district partner. The District 10 male died in the blood bath. District 11 male is a monster and difficult to forget. It has to be him." Maysilee deduced, running her hands up and down her bare arms. She could feel Marco's green eyes studying her and probably assessing her state of mind. She did the exact same thing when he was talking about Amy. "Ryan is the quiet loner type. He observes and deduces before acting. He knows what to say and when. I wasn't particularly close to him."

"So… both District 12 tributes saved my life today. Funny how fate works." Maysilee rested her head on top of her knees, biting back the sarcastic comment bubbling in her throat. She took a good long look at the young man across from her. The firelight caressed his tan skin, following his strong jaw line and Adonis-like features. The shadows traced the hard line of his chest and abs. His pants hung low on his hips but the bandages covered the bottom half, the wound. Maysilee could feel her heart pounding against her chest. The boy was damn sexy.

The anthem and death toll finally ended, leaving them in a somber silence that neither moved to break. I was like the weight of what happened today finally hit them. Here they were, two teens who barely met, who were destined to kill each other eventually, sitting in silence lost in their own thoughts. Maysilee shook her head, _what a cruel world we live in, _she thought before pushing herself up and grabbing her tiny pack to get some dry fruit. "Why did you volunteer?" Marco's deep voice cut through the silence, bouncing off the walls of the bare room. The blonde teenager paused, shifting through her thoughts.

"For the fame and glory, of course." She replied, turning on her heels to face him. _Please, please don't pry. _She pleaded in her head as Marco shook his head, not believing her for a second. She didn't want to bear her heart to the boy in front of her. She didn't want the whole nation to see her shatter into pieces, pegging her as a weakling. She couldn't risk it. Sob stories can only go so far in the games. Maysilee isn't a sob story. Her eyes hardened and keeping an impassive look on her face, her fingers reached down and slowly slide her dagger out of its sheath.

"No, that's not you. You don't need fame and glory. You already have that, Angel of District 12." Marco said. He knew the answer from observing the girl during the training sessions and her charming interview. There was a deeper meaning. She was like every angry grieving relative of the casualties of the Hunger Games. But unlike everyone else who suffered in silence and allow the wound to scab over, she fought back in her own stupid way. "You want retribution from your sister's death. You want to be acknowledged. You want the Capitol to know your face and n-" He stopped when the icy cold feel of steel pressed against his neck.

"I want," Maysilee moved faster than she has ever before, crossing the distance between them in a flash. Her hand was steady as she kept the dangerous dagger poised underneath Marco's jugular ready to slice the vital vein. Her legs were straddling him, keeping him from moving towards his spears. His green eyes widen as his mind finally processed what happened. "I want you to shut your mouth before I shut it for you." She ordered in a cold calculating tone. The warm caring girl from before and this girl couldn't possibly be the same. "Don't talk about me like you know who I am. You don't know me. Now, don't make me into a target." She prayed the boy understood her underlining meaning as he slowly nodded his head. The intentionally cold girl slowly got off him, tucking her dagger into its sheath and walked to her side of the fire, keeping her icy eyes on him. He really didn't know who this girl was.

#24 Pickpocket

"Stop it Luke," Maysilee ordered closed her eyes, feeling the Seam's boy's gaze without looking up from the ground in front of her parents' candy shop. "Don't give me that look." The said boy flinched at the girl's harsh tone and stepped out from his hiding spot. Maysilee studied the boy with scary blank eyes, clenching the wooden handle of the broom to her lithe body. A slight breeze tickled the ends of her long blond hair as it fell over her shoulders. She allowed it to grow out pass her usual length, a token to her younger sister's death. "You're not working today?" She continued, turning around to set the broom against the worn-out wall before settling on the hard concrete steps and smoothing her fingers over the creases in her summer dress.

Luke smiled and sat beside her, stretching his long legs out and resting his hands behind them. They observed the empty town square, watching as the sun slowly dips behind the houses, casting huge shadows. "Nope, I start next week. I'm savoring the last rays of sun while I can." Maysilee nodded her head, unable to offer any comforting words. She would never need to venture down into the dirty minds, inhaling the dangerous thick air and endure the harsh conditions to make a meager living for her family. No, all Maysilee had to do was smile pretty, ring up expensive substance-less sugary treats and find a merchant husband. She frowned at the thought, unable to stomach the cruelness of their lives. She couldn't change it though. "Also, I can't help the way I look at you." Luke added, turning to look at the beautiful girl. He moved slowly, reaching out to offer a comforting hand. Maysilee thought moved instinctively, unwilling to accept any human contact. "May…"

Their friendship wasn't conventional. It started when Maysilee noticed Luke lingering around the shop, bravely entering the shop and studying the jars of candy the lines the wall. He wasn't like the other Seam children who press their faces up against the pane glass, too scared to enter the shop. But when candies started disappearing, Maysilee knew who in an instant. But she ignored it (the candies were past their expiration date.) but kept on eye on him. Luke was intriguing. He was the only one who could tolerate Haymitch's surliness with a bright smile. Later, Maysilee learned Luke wasn't keeping the candy for himself. He was handing it out to the children of the Seam, children who's stomachs growled for food and eyes lit up at the sight of the shiny hard candy. Her heart tugged at the cause and she had to do more. So when Luke entered the shop, Maysilee would conveniently leave a loaf of bread or a bag of trail mix out and announce loudly she was going to the back, adding a conspiring wink towards the boy. Soon, a tentative friendship formed between the two over the months.

"Do you remember how I used to give you those pitiful looks?" Maysilee asked, looking up from the folds of her dress to meet his dark gaze. His Seam eyes seemed to glow brightly against his tan skin. Luke was tall, about Kane's height, but without the bulk. He was all skin and bones, lanky like a tree but healthier than a majority of the Seam kids. His hair was long, a common style for the Seam. She was itching to grab her scissors and give him a much needed trim. Luke sighed at the thought and turned away, gnawing on his bottom lip. "I stopped. Now it's your turn."

"It's different." He replied stubbornly.

"Please," the boy fell silent under his friend's request. Of course, she was still hurting from Marigold's death. She thought she had accepted the fact her sister wasn't coming home when they shared their last hug in the Justice Building. But when Marigold survived the blood bath, fought through the swamps and met up with Haymitch, Maysilee allowed her mind to conjure up thoughts that her sister could return home, alive and well, not in a wooden box. _Stupid, _she chastised herself, clenching her fingers tightly so the nails would bit into her palm, _you stupid girl. _What she couldn't handle were the pitiful looks everyone sent her. In just that one look, Maysilee could see what they're thinking. _Poor Maysilee, poor Donner family. They didn't deserve this. _No one deserves this; death is just a fact of life. Maysilee internalized the idea, reminding herself every day not to let the tears fall. "How's Haymitch?" She asked, needing something to distract herself.

Luke let out a heavy sigh and ran his fingers through his thick hair. Maysilee turned and noted the tension in his usual lax form. "If it's even possible, worse than you." He rested his head against his laced hands, trying to form his thoughts into words. When two people they were both desperately close to entered the Games, Maysilee and Luke couldn't look at each other. They were praying, hoping for someone to come home and inadvertently hoping for another's death. Luke stopped visiting the candy shop, opting to hang out with his Seam friends to cheer for Haymitch and the other Seam kids. Maysilee would occupy her time with Markus, Kane and Ivy, keeping her mind far away from her friend's sudden abandonment. It was bound to happen, they were too different. "You don't want to know."

"Tell me." She ordered, reaching out and placing her hand on his. Luke glanced at their hands, pale against tan, before looking up at her. Luke comforted her when Marigold died, allowing the girl to take her frustration out on him before collapsing into his arms in sobs. Now, she wanted to help him even if it met to face her sister's involuntary killer. "Please, Luke. Let me help you."

"He rarely talks." Luke started, putting his thoughts into words. "Not like before where he would just offer a sarcastic comment here or there. He doesn't talk at all. He just sits there silently, lost in his thoughts. There are moments when he just disappear into his mind and never come out until Oliver or Sophia touches him. He hasn't hurt anyone yet. He nearly slashed me once when I touched him but he's good with stopping." Luke took a deep breath before continuing. "He has nightmares. I know by the bags underneath his eyes but he won't talk to anyone. It's like he's trapped in the games and he can't leave. I'm afraid he's going to resort to liquor or something stronger to get him through the night. Jeffery promised not to sell Haymitch any white liquor but May, the money is too good. We needed it. No one is going to refuse him for long…"

Luke looked like he's been searching for an answer for every day since his friend returned. And he's been coming up empty. "Stay here." Maysilee said, standing up and slowly opening the door, thoughts swirling in her mind. Luke could see her mother standing at the counter with a blank expression. She barely seemed alive nowadays, just standing there blinking, unlike her harsher self who would scowl at the sight of his Seam features. Mrs. Donner was grieving, taking her youngest daughter's death harsher than her own twin. Maysilee disappeared and then reappeared from behind the counter, now carrying a basket of food. Luke braced himself for the mother's cries of indignation but none came. The door snapped firmly behind blonde. "Here," she said, shoving the basket into his hands. The fresh smell of bread and roasted meat invaded Luke's nose and his stomach rumbled. "Now I need you to steal Haymitch's key. I have a plan to snap him out of his stupor. This is your payment."

Luke grabbed a still warm roll, ripping into the warm soft bread with his teeth. A satisfying moan escaped his mouth when gooey cheese burst into his mouth and he closed his eyes, savoring the taste. "Yes Ma'am," he replied, standing up and silently calculating the hunger mouths he could feed with the food. "Though, you know I would have done it for free if you just asked, May." He said as Maysilee reached out to dust off some dirt sticking to his shirt.

"I know." She whispered, allowing the boy to slip through her fingers, her thoughts lingering on a different Seam boy and how to fix him.

The effects of the alcohol were slowly wearing off as Haymitch stumbled up the cobblestones towards the Victor's Village. He reeked of stale alcohol and any town folk who crossed his path gave the 50th victor a wide berth. Haymitch couldn't fight off the smirk as a pair of town girls jumped out of his path. His vision was foggy but he still found the path the lead to the Victor's village. A foul taste lingered in his mouth as he reached up to wipe the corner of his mouth. He smirked, recalling his little mess in the fountain in the middle of the town square. _Poor sucker who has to clean that up, _he thought as he straightened up, looking at his pristine white house. Absentmindedly, Haymitch reached into his pocket, blinking when his hand came up empty. _Well fuck, _he thought scratching the back of his neck as he looked at the oak door, debating if he should jab his knife into the lock and pry it open. He moved forward, wrapping his hand around the knob and frowned when it turned easily without its key.

"Must have forgotten my key," he murmured, stepping into the house without a second thought. The foyer was dark and his mind was spinning from the drinks. He didn't even notice the second presence.

"You would expect a Victor's home to be harder to break into." Without thinking, Haymitch moved lightning quick, pulling his knife out, grabbing the other person's arm and trapping them between his body and the sturdy wall. The sharp blade was placed underneath the intruder's chin, ready to slice the vital vein. He faltered though at the sight of golden blonde hair falling, snow pale skin and sharp azure eyes. "Can't just kill one Donner, Abernathy?" She greeted, slowly reaching up to pull his knife away from her neck.

Haymitch blinked, staring intensely at the girl underneath him. He tried to force his foggy mind to focus on the present, studying the girl and comparing her to her deceased sister. Marigold possessed softer features like light blonde hair which fell like wisps into her face and high sweet voice. Maysilee was sharp edges and hard glares. Her features were bold and striking, commanding attention without trying. Despite looking similar, each girl had their own unique aura. Well, just one girl now. The girl in his arms didn't shy away from his intense gaze like everyone else in the District. She met it with her own unwavering stare.

"Do you know who I am?" She asked her tone softer than he ever heard. Haymitch stepped away, slipping his knife into his back pocket before releasing her. She rubbed the spot where he was gripping her arm tightly but kept staring into his eyes. It was like she was staring right into his soul. Haymitch didn't like the feeling. It was unnerving as he turned away, shrugging his jacket off.

"It's hard to forget you, Donner." He murmured, still trying to shake off the feeling like he seen a ghost.

"Which one am I?" She pressed, grabbing his arm and forcing him to spin around. Haymitch opened his mouth, ready to yell at her but the scene changed in front of his eyes. The creamy white walls of the foyer shifted into dark tones of green and brown like tall sturdy trees. Her outfit of sensible jeans and plain t-shirt transformed into a pair of dark cargo pants and a forest green t-shirt, both caked with mud and blood. Cuts and bruises lined her pale arms along with sweat matting her hair to her beautiful face. Her eyes, the same bright blue, stared at him with sadness and trust, it physically hurt. Her mouth formed the word run as the sound of tree branches snapping and a ferocious roar ripped through the air.

"HAYMITCH!" A bright light switched on, blinding the victor temporary. He was gasping for breath, leaning against the wall before sliding down slowly. A warm hand touched his arm as another one traced his face, brushing the long bangs out of his face. He blinked, eyes bouncing around taking in his surroundings. The smell and taste of copper receded. Maysilee sat beside him on the floor, worried evident in her deep blue eyes. "So this was what Luke meant." He heard her murmured before lightly grasping his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. It was the first physical contact anyone outside of his usual circle gave him. Everyone avoid him like he was a loose cannon waiting to snap. And they were right. "I'm Maysilee." She whispered, tipping his chin up so he would meet her gaze.

"I know." He replied back curtly, unconsciously moving away from the girl, reeling from the sudden memory. He glared at Maysilee, picking the miniscule difference between her and the Marigold he knew in the Arena. "Donner," the girl's eyes narrowed and he knew who she was in that instant. "What are you doing in my house?" He demanded in a clip tone. The girl's mouth parted slightly, surprised by his tone. It was clip and direct almost like his old self. She turned away, trying to fight off a tiny smile.

"Welcome back," she greeted in an equally clip tone, standing up and turn around to walk into his home. Haymitch finally noticed the lack of sound. His mother and Oliver were nowhere to be seen. Slowly, Haymitch stood up, following the girl into his home. He sat at the counter which divided the living room from the kitchen. Maysilee moved around it with ease. His gray eyes tracked her; afraid she might just be a figment of his imagination. "It's a favor for a friend." She answered, searching his cupboards for a kettle.

"You have friends?"

"Ha, ha, very funny." She replied sarcastically as Haymitch tried to hide his smirk that naturally curled his lips. He glanced around, staring at the white walls, clean kitchen and spacious living room with confusion. He was home or at least as close to home as he could be. He wasn't in the Arena, fighting for his life, watching his ally die and slowly losing his mind. _Maybe I am still losing my mind, _Haymitch thought as Maysilee poured warm water into a mug before setting it in front of him. "Here," she murmured, leaning across from him with her own mug.

"Why are you really here, Maysilee?" He asked, slipping the steaming tea, allowing it to warm him to the core. Maysilee shifted, looking down into her cup like the answer was there. She unconsciously reached up towards her collar, looking for something to play with. His gray eyes followed, noting the absent of a certain trinket. Her fingers instead curled around the cotton collar of her t-shirt. She looked vulnerable.

"You've been distant, more than usual. Luke is worried. It was my idea to ambush you. Nothing like a ghost from your not-so-distant past to jolt you awake." His gray eyes sharpened as he glared at her. Maysilee barely flinched underneath the heated gaze, instead smiling at him softly. "You're talking. You have to admit it." Haymitch grumbled underneath his breath and took a sip. "We both lost a piece of us in the game this year. Me, my sister. You, a peace of mind." She reached out, bridging the distance between them. Her hands were soft against his. "You're not the only one dealing with the aftermath of the Games. I have nightmares too. They're not as violent or vivid as yours but they're still haunting. Don't close yourself off to everyone. Let someone in."

Haymitch wanted to brush her off like he did with Sophia and his mother. There were horrors in his mind that no one should have to know, show have to experience. He wanted to treat her like shit but as Maysilee stared at him with striking blue eyes, not a pitiful but understanding look. He couldn't push her aside. She kept him grounded just by her presence. So sitting there as the sun dipped down, sharing silence and stories, a slow truce formed between two unlikely people.


End file.
